[Sept. 22, 2018: I am now updating this post. In the original post, below, I announced that I would no longer take single, cis-gendered men as clients, due to my frustration and anger about sexual harrassment from men pretending to be potential clients. I am leaving my original post intact because I want people to understand the serious impact of their actions.]
I will work with cis-gendered, single male clients with the following criteria in place:
- You contact me through email only, giving your first and last name, a telephone number, and your time zone. You do not send photos of any kind (not even of your dog). If you contact me by phone, I will not return the call.
- You fill out and return the intake forms that I send you, with correct information, and send a PDF copy of your driver’s license.
- You pay for four sessions (five hours) through PayPal ($400.00), upfront, at least one week before the first scheduled appointment. If any of the intake information proves to be false, no refunds will be given.
- You agree to do any advance reading that I recommend, and actually do it, before the sessions.
- If there is even a hint of sexual harrassment or inappropriate behavior, I will terminate the session and no refunds will be given.
- The first four sessions are online only, via Skype or Webex or Thera-Link, even if you live in Lake County.
- In person sessions are scheduled at my discretion. It is possible all our work will remain online.
You will be asked to sign and date an agreement containing the above conditions, along with my usual disclosure agreement. These conditions are designed to weed out “pretend clients” and sexual harrassers. They are also designed to show you can follow instructions and do “homework,” both of which are important in addressing whatever sexual concerns you are bringing as a presenting problem. Thank you.
I’ve enjoyed working with my (cisgendered) male clients in the past. In fact, most of my clients have been men. I done my best to support them through counseling and hypnosis when they’ve come to me with erection problems, body image problems, and other problems and questions concerning sexual intimacy and relationships. As an educated and compassionate helping professional in the area of human sexuality, I’ve been honored and humbled to assist in this way.
However, I regret to announce that puerile harrassment by men who pretend they want to be clients has finally worn me down. I can’t take any more dick pix or masturbation phone calls by men who think my profession is an invitation for sexual advances or harrassment. This has been going on since I first hung up my sexologist shingle, and it got old fast. My incoming contacts page on Facebook is full of men saying “hey” and sending the occasional penis photo. At best, they want free advice. At worst, their attempts to contact me accelerate. I no longer keep up my Psychology Today profile, because masturbation calls from fake prospective clients far outnumber the legitimate inquiries. I don’t even feel safe having an office anymore.
I could be your best friend, dudes. Really! You want to know stuff about what to do, how to cope, when your penis is having an off day? I can talk you down from the panic and show you how to prevent it from happening as often. You want to ideas about more fun things you can do with your partner(s)? Or how to have better erotic communication? Even how to re-write your heterosexual online dating profile? I can help with all that.
Though I know not “all” men are jerks, the sad fact is that most of the ones contacting me these days are. And I just can’t take it anymore.
From this day forward (until I change my mind) I am limiting new clients to women (cis and trans), trans men, and other gender-nonbinary and gender diverse people–because these are the folks who still have manners and show respect for professionals with expertise like mine. And if I’m seeing couples or multiples, then yes, of course, I’ll work with any man who is part of that configuration.
Except for already established clients, I’m done with the individual cis dudes. The trolls have won.