Sept. 7, 2018 Update: No Longer Working with Individual Cis Men.
You might want to know what it will be like to work on sexual problems with a professional sex counselor and hypnotist. So this letter will tell you a little about what to expect. Be assured that my office is a sex-and-pleasure-positive, no-shame zone.
Here are some things you’ll want to know in advance:
- This work is not a substitute for psychotherapy or medical care. Often, though, it can be complementary to other treatments and therapies.
- I only work with adults (18+).
- I don’t take insurance.
- In addition to seeing heterosexual people in monogamous relationships, my practice is LGBTQIA etc., kink, and poly friendly.
- I work with individual women (cis and trans), trans men, nonbinary and other gender variant people, couples, intimate multiples. Sept. 7, 2018 Update: Cis men only as part of a couple or multiple.
- My way of working is encouraging, supportive, and eclectic.
- My work is a combination of sexuality counseling, adult sex education, “coaching,” hypnosis, and other mind-body skills – as needed and appropriate.
- This work is based on the PLISS part of Jack Annon’s PLISSIT model – I refer on for intensive therapy. PLISS stands for “permission, limited information, specific suggestions.” (See PLISSIT model at bottom of page.)
- The first session is always two-hours long. It’s important to have that time for intake, and also to begin counseling, hypnosis (if wanted), mind-body skills, etc.
- You’ll be given the 2a. Sexological:Disclosure 1:2018 to read and sign. It includes information about the professional organizations whose ethical standards I observe. Please keep it for your reference. (See the link to the form at the bottom of this page.)
- Your sessions are confidential and private.
- All sessions are fragrance-free, due to my medical condition.
- This work is client-centered. I am here to support and encourage you, not to tell you what you “should” be thinking or feeling in your erotic life or your gender.
- We can address behaviors, desires, and feelings that are adult and, if partnered, consensual.
- This work is usually short-term. You might want to plan on four to eight sessions with me, but if you feel complete before that, great!
- Hypnosis isn’t mandatory, but I do use it a lot with clients because it is so helpful. We will address all your questions and fears about hypnosis before using it.
- There will be homework! Or rather, “home play!” There are things I will ask you, or you and a partner, to do at home between sessions. I may also recommend books, websites, toys, etc. These recommendations and activities will help you get the most out of your sessions with me.
Here are some of the issues I work with:
- Erectile dysfunction – if non-medical in nature. Hypnosis is my preferred method. Will often suggest a physical check-up with your doctor to detect or rule out diabetes or other medical conditions. [Sept. 7, 2018–only if man is part of a couple or multiple that I’m seeing as clients.]
- Vaginismus – to increase relaxation, decrease guilt, shame or fear around sex. This is best if you are seeing a pelvic floor therapist at the same time.
- Other pelvic pain.
- Guilt, shame, fear around sex.
- Body image issues, including worries about your genitals (size, shape, appearance, function, etc.).
- Desire – “too much,” “too little,” or different between partners.
- Masturbation – to decrease guilt, shame, fear and encourage healthy, fun self-pleasuring.
- Erotica and porn use – is there a problem? If so, what?
- Sexual enrichment – is there something you want to try? Want to know more about? Can advise about erotic massage, erotic hypnosis, sex toys, tantra and sacred sexuality, BDSM and kink, non-monogamy, and more.
- “Coming out” – decreasing stress, offering supportive opportunities to talk.
- The effects of disabilities, medical conditions, and aging on sex and intimacy.
- And more.
Here are some issues that I don’t work with, and some things that I don’t do:
- “Sex Addiction” – sex addiction has been discredited by most respected experts in human sexuality. However, if you are experiencing behavior that feels compulsive or out of balance, we can work on this, often using hypnosis.
- “Conversion Therapy” – It is unethical and is condemned by all respected professionals and organizations. In other words, I will not use hypnosis or any other modality to convince you to have a different sexual preference or gender, or to be someone that you are not. Instead, I support your authentic sexual and/or gender quests of discovery.
- Criminal and Non-Consensual Sexual Offending – This requires specialized training and the expertise of a licensed psychotherapist. I will do my best to find you a referral if you need assistance with this.
- Intimate Touching – A sexuality counselor is not a sex worker.
- Nudity – with one exception. Viewing the nude self in front of a mirror can be helpful when one has a severe negative body image. Most often it would be recommended as a “home play” exercise, but sometimes (with advanced planning and consent) this can be done in a session. Additional disclosure and consent forms are needed for this type of session.
- I will never date or have an intimate relationship with a current or former client or student. It doesn’t matter how long it has been since I’ve worked with the person – it is unethical.
I hope this answers some of your questions. And if you have more, I will be pleased to answer them. I look forward to working with you!
All the best!
1) Please fill out and email the 2. INTAKE Appointment Pages 1:2018.
2) Download and read the 2a. Sexological:Disclosure 1:2018. Please print out, sign, and bring to your first appointment for my files.