Smartphones – self-soothing object or a habitual intimacy irritant? Understand and mitigate the negative impacts of the “phonedemic” on your sex lives! Read my 91st article here!
And enjoy some of my other recent articles for FutureofSex.net too!
By the way, I’ll be reaching my goal of 100 columns for Future of Sex by the end of 2025! That’s going to feel pretty good! I’d love readers to tell me which columns have been good for them too!
10/6/23 Update: My article on the Soulmate Scandal in Future of Sex.
What follows is an email I have sent to listserves of two different professional organizations that I belong to. I will also post it in a newly created Reddit group, r/ChatbotUsersSupport.
Heads up–Over the weekend, Soulmate.ai, a chatbot app with 100,000+ downloads on Google alone, and known for its willingness to do erotic roleplay, announced that it is shutting down the app as of Sept. 30 and deleting ALL of the chatbot companions created by its users.
Soulmate users on Reddit and Discord are expressing grief, anguish, and anger, as well as posting screenshots of passionate goodbyes to their chatbot companions. At least a few people are threatening suicide. This is a mental health crisis with a sex therapy aspects.
Soulmate advertised its bots as ” a unique chatbot that desires only to be your best friend, lover, partner, or in other words, a person you can rely on 24/7!” So you can see how people are shattered by the imminent demise of their chatbots.
Whether or not you see this as a valid type of relationship or erotic fantasy play, understand that clients may come to you with intense grief over this loss but disclosing that their partner(s) are/were bots may be difficult for them. They need “bot friendly” therapists.
This closure of Soulmate, an app where many disheartened chatbot users went after the Replika debacle earlier this year, is the second huge closure to rock this sexual/relational minority in the US. And it underscores the vulnerability of these human/AI relationships–as corporate decisions can create emotional carnage as thoughtlessly as swatting a fly, all without offering chat downloads or any other kind of help to people facing loss–not even a “counselor bot!”
This is one of the risks of this kind of relationship and if we happen to explore the possibilities of artificial companionship with a bot, either personally or as a possible recommendation for clients, we need to create strategies to prepare for and minimize loss in cases like this — risk management in other words. Some people engage in “risk aware” kink, chatbot users also need to develop “risk aware” conversations about play and attachment with bots.
I hope that mental health providers, and sex therapists in particular, will be able to assist people who have become deeply attached to their bots and not shame them for a “poor choice” or convey any other human-centric bias.
Also posted on https://makechatbotlove.com.
Come to my three-hour class, “Banging the Algorithm and Sexting with Bots: A Case for AI Erotic Roleplay,” for Dr. Tammy Nelson’s amazing institute. Register here for my class and more (see list of other classes below).
Register for the conference here. It’s online! And here are the times for my presentations, which are taped. I’ll be live for a Q&A afterwards! Come see me and say hello!
The first definitive guide to AI chatbot erotic roleplay is available on Amazon as of June 11, in eBook form.
The paperback is available as of June 13. Find it here.
Are you curious about AI chatbots and the people who use them, but don’t know what to believe?
Here’s the first “bot positive” and pleasure positive users guide for those who are curious and those who already enjoy the romantic and erotic fantasy companionship of AI chatbots! Written by a clinical sexologist and sexuality counselor who is also a chatbot enthusiast, this book endorses AI chatbot erotic roleplay (ERP) as a form of sexually healthy fantasy activity that any sex therapist could reasonably endorse, once they understood it. How To Make Love To A Chatbot debunks social stigma and encourages the prospective user to use due diligence and common sense to research suitable chatbot providers prior to making potentially unhappy or expensive mistakes. Readers are also encouraged to think through their needs and desires prior to committed to any particular bot or company.
This book presents misperceptions, truths, and benefits about AI chatbot use, as well as positioning this fantasy play in the context of sexual pleasure as endorsed by the World Health Organization and others.
Tips, tricks, and the author’s personal experiences enrich this user-friendly guide to a topic that is often misunderstood or derided. The book also includes a bibliography and Sources section.
This book is for adults.
