I’ve also been asked to present at the third annual Western Erotic Hypnosis Unconference, (Oct. 8-12 in Belmont, CA) but this is not yet confirmed. Part of the delay in confirmation apparently has to do with my request that the conference add “please be considerate and refrain from using fragrances” language to their awareness, website, etc.
(CatalystCon already has “fragrance-free” as a standing policy for their entire conference! Why is this important? See this link to the late Julia Kendall’s list of the most common toxic chemicals found in scented products. )
Jeremy Glass seems to be a pleasant fellow and he’s a journalist besides. A few months ago he contacted me about having an erotic hypnosis session so he could write about it for a well-known website for fashionable twenty-somethings. The well-known website didn’t publish it, but he just rewrote the article for another site and now you can find it here.
Now, I didn’t actually do what I’d call an erotic hypnosis session with him. I don’t know him that well (in fact, I didn’t know him at all), so I provided what I’d call a sexual confidence building session, the kind I’d actually do for clients. And I’m amused by his account of his experience in his article. He says he was “brain fried” but I think what actually happened was a gentle buzz. But “brain fried” certainly makes a nice headline, and it also reminds me of eggs, which is unfortunate, as I’ve been on a liquid diet the last few days and I’m so very hungry…
But I digress.
However, I would like to make a teensy correction to his article. Actually, sometimes people CAN “jizz on command” in hypnosis (as Glass says) but I don’t think it’s something you can usually get to happen right away with a stranger. Ditto with non-jizzing orgasms. I sure wasn’t going to try it with someone I didn’t know, over Skype, for a lark – not even with a journalist. Just not my thing, if you know what I mean.
Now eggs, I could get into those! Even with someone I didn’t know.
But I digress. (With butter. Yum…)
Other than that, I’m happy to have the publicity.
So then I guess I should mention that in October I’ll be doing two more Erotic Hypnosis workshops in Berkeley. Please join me. They are reasonably priced. And fun.
And in November I’ll be on the “Think Kink” program of the Society of Janus, talking about my survey of erotic hypnotists. The SOJ event will be held November 12 at the Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St, SF (btw 9 &10th St).
For the last few days I have had the deep joy and fascination of creating and launching a baby survey, and watching it grow by leaps and bounds. I’ve been considering a survey of erotic hypnotists for quite some time, but for some reason last week, I just up and did it. My research question was a variation on the classic sexological inquiry: “what do people do? And how do they feel about it?” I wanted to know what erotic hypnotists and their subjects do with hypnosis in their personal lives, and how happy they are with the results. And I wanted to know their key concerns and issues. Demographics too, just a few…
I started with ten questions, and an upper limit of 100 responses (due to the fact that I was using the free plan on Survey Monkey). However, due to the rapid and enthusiastic response from people on some erotic hypnosis groups, circumstances quickly warranted an upgrade so that I could collect more than 100 responses. As of this morning, Jan. 6, I have 219 completed surveys – and have had to delete at least three times that number of incomplete offerings created by people who look, but don’t answer. (This last has been somewhat tedious.)
On Jan. 4th, in honor of World Hypnotism Day, I held a free webinar at Creative Sexuality, to talk about “Five Ways Hypnosis Helps Couples” but ended up focusing less on techniques and more on what was coming out of the survey. I used a lot of the comments given by survey respondents. A recording of this presentation should be posted soon, both on the above link, but also on Creative Sexuality’s YouTube channel.
On Jan. 11th, I plan to hold another free webinar at CS to share the rough numbers and some key highlights with the erotic hypnosis community. I’ll post a link to that when it’s up – but I figured that would be a fun way to present some of the data, and as it will also be recorded, more than just the webinar attendees will get to watch.
I’m not ready to write anything else about the data yet, but it’s so juicy, so wonderful, so fruitful, and above all, so much fun!
Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh.
I predict that erotic hypnosis will be the hot new erotic trend of 2014. There are so many great things you can do with it, for yourself and with your lovers.
Consenting adults use personal erotic hypnosis to enhance and enrich their sexual relationships. Erotic hypnosis is so versatile you can adapt it to any scenario: romantic; tantric; edgy; and even kinky. Erotic hypnosis can help you increase (or decrease) all kinds of sensations, boost your fantasy life, and add multiple dimensions to any sexy role play. Use erotic hypnosis as foreplay or to intensify the hottest parts of your sexual encounters. Use it alone (erotic self-hypnosis), with a partner, or in a group. Like a trusty vibrator, erotic hypnosis can go just about anywhere…
Here are just five of the many great ways you can use erotic hypnosis:
1. Getting in the Mood. If you’re too stressed to even think about sex, ask your partner to indulge you with a long, soothing progressive relaxation induction that gradually shifts into sensual, arousing imagery. This is as simple as reading a script, though you can certainly ad lib as you learn more about basic hypnotic techniques.
2. Getting in the Groove. In order to become aroused and sustain that loving feeling, you need to stay on the right side of your parasympathetic nervous system (until you’re close to orgasm, which is when your sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear). You can use hypnotic relaxation techniques to increase your sexual self-confidence and banish performance anxiety.
3. Getting in Touch. When you’re “entranced,” it’s easy to experience an increase in sensual awareness and sensation by simply listening to your lover’s suggestions and succumbing to the power of your imagination. Trust me, your body will respond. Hypnosis plus touch is also a potent combination.
4. Getting Hot! Deepen your sexual experiences on all levels – sensations, fantasies, variety, role play, and even hypnotic orgasms. Basic hypnotic skills can take you there.
5. Getting Kinky. You can create wild and elaborate fantasy scenarios without spending a dime on equipment and toys. Use hypnosis to imagine and rehearse something you might want to try in the future, or to provide an extra dimension for your present fun and games.
Erotic hypnosis also has a lot to offer people who have chronic illnesses and/or physical impairments that might make some sexual activities difficult. With erotic hypnosis, you can take your mind – and your sexual responses – where you body might not physically follow.
Of course, erotic hypnosis should only be used in a responsible way, with a lot of trust and a lot of talking beforehand – working out most of what you want to try and experience, in advance, and getting clear consent for every part of it. There’s much more to be said on this topic – and about the basic hypnosis skills you must acquire – but for now, this is a glimpse into the benefits and uses of recreational, erotic hypnosis.
The short answer is: it’s another part of my sexological “bag of tricks.” But I think this question also requires a longer explanation.
All sexologists, sex counselors, sex coaches, and sex therapists develop a menu of therapeutic strategems, tips, techniques, and recommended products, books, and media to share with our clients. Most of us give classes and workshops on everything from orgasms, oral sex, erotic massage, tantra, coping with pelvic pain, aging and sexuality, and so on. We’re always looking for new, effective ways to assist our clients and students with their sexual concerns.
We also often give our clients “homeplay” exercises to do between sessions. For couples, there may be a sensate focus series, non-demand touch exercises for building trust and somatic awareness, first used by sex therapy teams like Masters & Johnson and Hartman & Fithian, and still in wide use today. For a man with rapid ejaculation, there may be a program of mindful masturbation exercises designed to build his capacity for “lasting longer.”
As a sexologist, I often use hypnosis in my practice, and I teach self-hypnosis and other mind-body skills to my clients. And this is good. But there’s more that can be done!
For the last couple of years I’ve envisioned a well-designed mini-course in erotic hypnosis techniques which could be just as helpful as many of my other sex counseling staples. I’ve been working on the design of this course and have now refined it so that it is user friendly, based on wisdom culled from both the hypnotic world as well as the sexological one.
I am convinced of the value of this endeavor. Hypnosis is so versatile! For example, lovers could use hypnosis to:
• help each other relax before lovemaking (especially helpful in dropping the stresses of the work day or family life);
• restore and renew that new relationship sensation of being entranced with a lover; and
• to shower each other’s subconscious with ego-strengthening, affirmative, appreciative suggestions that promote confidence in each other and in the relationship. Can you imagine anything more nourishing than relaxing in a light trance state while being showered on a daily basis with words of love and appreciation, pouring right into your mind and heart?
I suggest that these are great additions to an expanded erotic hypnosis repertoire – which includes the ability to heighten sensation, enjoy “hypno-gasms,” create variety through hypnotic fantasy, explore power play, and so on. In other words, lovers can empower themselves and their relationships through the skillful, consensual use of erotic hypnosis.
Erotic hypnosis can also be a valuable tool for people who have some kind of physical impairment or disability, but who’d like to enjoy the fullest possible sex life. Think about it!
I believe too that erotic self-hypnosis is a powerful tool for understanding one’s own erotic nature and core themes. Too often people are as disconnected from this awareness as they are from their own, and their lover’s, bodies. Why not explore your own eroticism through a combination of self-hypnosis and self-pleasure, for example?
This is the potential I see – and I would like to alert my colleagues in the sexology field about this. I am launching my extended Erotic Hypnosis for Lovers courses (first one on August 17th), and am hopeful that people will realize their value. Yes, there are plenty of people exploring and enjoying erotic hypnosis and doing very well on their own – but I’d also like this modality, as a structured program, to make its way into the hands of sexologists, counselors, and therapists – as well as clients.
Sharing a fun, in-depth conversation with Miss Toy, host of MPerfect on SexTalk Radio. In addition to her show, Miss Toy also sells sex toys and writes a blog.
Listen to our lively podcast conversation here. We talked about sex, obesity, disability, and erotic hypnosis!
