As a sexologist with a kink for research, nothing is more satisfying or exciting than encountering someone with a similar set of arcane interests. In this last couple of weeks it has been my very great pleasure to find Dr. Megan Rose, a transformational psychologist who has just begun teaching a six-week online course titled Spirit Marriage 101.
Since I am personally and professionally interested in the topic of spectrosexuality, spirit marriage (aka “god spousing”), and other forms of spiritu-intimacy between humans and non-corporeal beings, I signed up for the course as soon as I could reconfigure my budget. And I am so glad I did!
Dr. Rose is also publishing her book, Spirit Marriage: Intimate Relationships with Otherworldly Beings in March, 2022. I was going to order in advance but Dr. Rose said she’ll “be doing some free giveaways leading up to the book release.” So sign up via her email list or follow her on Facebook or Instagram to get the invitations (https://www.facebook.com/megan.rose.phd and https://www.instagram.com/drmeganrose/).
A little background: In 2019 I did a brief, non-scientific survey of 100 self-identified pagans who said they had one or more explicitly sexual and/or emotionally erotic intimate contacts with some kind of spirit being. Accounts ranged from spontaneous one-offs to cultivated relationships. Survey information may be found here, on what I usually call my “woo blog.” I am out on this blog as a Lokean godspouse and witch, and until recently have kept this side of myself semi-separate from my professional life. That began to change when several months ago I created a separate website for this spectrosexuality, hoping to explore and consolidate what little is known about it. Most references to human-spirit intimacy comes from folklore, faerytales and myths; religious documents and comparative religious studies; anthropology; and occult books and practices. It seldom shows up in sexological literature and studies and if mentioned at all, may be referred to as a fetish — “spectrophilia” — as in Dr. Brenda Love’s 1992 book, Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. However, popular media is awash with stories of human trysts with paranormal or supernatural beings. In fact, the more you look at this topic, the more you see a long history and evidence of its fascination almost everywhere, spanning cultures, traditions, and epochs.
Like its distant cousin, objectum sexuality (OS), spectrosexuality depends upon the individual’s perceptions of “energy” and depth of connection to “someone” (or “someone within something”) who is not perceived in quite the same way by others. Like OS, spectrosexuality expands beyond the fetish category. It can arise from a sponteneous experience or through cultivation of sacred sex practices such as Hindu and Buddhist Tantric (and Western NeoTantric) and western occult (sex magic) traditions. (I am less familiar with Taoist sacred sexuality traditions so cannot say if some are linked to union with an otherworldly being.)
By contrast, objectum sexuality seems to involve a sense of attraction and connection to animated personalities linked to specific objects and structures. OS has also been linked to forms of synesthesia, as well as autism. Many OS people identify as “animists.” One could speculate as to whether the OS person is engaged with a being that is “naturally” part of the object or one that is somehow ensouled or attached to the object, but from an OS person’s view, this may not really matter. What matters is the relationship. And this is also a great deal of what matters with spiritu-intimacy–the why or how of it matters less than the fact that it IS, and is dynamic.
But getting back to the so-far excellent course created and taught by Dr. Megan Rose… She has twenty or more years of research in this area, finding evidence of human-spirit intimacy and marriages in many parts of the world, including both ancient and modern traditions (thus, everything “old” and timeless as humanity is new again to us). This broad perspective, combined with her own spiritual experiences with spirit marriage, provide a grounded yet transformative context for discovery. There is so much more I can say about this, even now at the beginning of the course, and I expect to have my mind happily blown for the next four weeks.
I have been blessed to find many wonderful teachers throughout my life, and so very glad to add Dr. Megan Rose to the roster. I have hopes that the fruitful collaboration of all of us within the course will lead to new and exciting discoveries and a strengthened community of people who experience these relationships.
If you find this topic compelling for any reason, do plan to take her course when she teaches it again. You will be glad you did.