Siberian WalnutScape
Rio Alhama canyon, Alhama de Granada, Andalusia, Spain
Andalusian WalnutScape
Italian WalnutScape

Blurry bloated forms hover at the top of each image, injecting a sense of vague aerial menace over some of the most beautiful landscapes on earth. Is it a bird or plane? Or an alien visitor straight out of top secret UFO files?

Nope. It’s nutscapes! An international, communal celebration of scrotal exposure requiring a combination of admirable yogic flexibility and more than decent photographic skills. I suppose a dollop of exhibitionism helps too, but that’s just my sexological supposition.

Lacking the necessary, I’ve had to concoct my own take on nutscapes (above), using a public domain walnut from “Liberal Freemason” on Wikimedia Commons. For the real thang, go to Nutscaping.com. The site even has its own mascot answer to Hello Kitty. Meet “Nutsy,” below.

Nutsy - the mascot at Nutscaping.com. http://nutscaping.com/topics/blog/
Nutsy – the mascot at Nutscaping.com. http://nutscaping.com/topics/blog/

Nutscaping apparently emerged in 2007, the brainchild of someone living in “the land of the long white cloud.” Sadly, the Cultural Encyclopedia of the Penis (2014) lacks an entry for nutscapes. I am a contributor to that worthy tome, and should the editors and publisher consider a revised edition in the future, would be honored to submit a nutscape entry.

In the meantime, I am happy to have encountered a new cultural morsel for my jaded sexological appetites!