March 6, 2018 Update: Give a listen to this recent podcast interview with Dr. Nazanin Moali. I got to talk about one of my favorite topics – erotic hypnosis! (P.S. Dr. Moali has interviewed quite a number of really interesting people in her Sexology podcast series. Check it out!)
I celebrated this past Valentine’s Day by offering a class in Romantic Hypnosis at a local senior center. I’m new in the area, and so I wasn’t upset when only three people showed up. It was a fine class anyway. Romantic hypnosis has a lot to offer people who are aging and/or dealing with physical mobility issues, as it’s a great way to bond and enjoy yourself even when “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”
So what is romantic hypnosis, anyway? It’s really very simple. In fact, it’s as simple as this:
Affectionate and Romantic Words + Relaxation = Relationship Magic.
And here’s how you do it. You can start by using a hypnosis script (there’s a sample below).
Step 1: Ask your sweetheart to close his/her/zir eyes and to relax, breathe deeply, comfortably, and so on. Ask your beloved to listen to your voice, letting everything else fade away. This begins to create the slowing down of brainwaves that we call “trance.” Neither of you should worry about the depth of the trance. In fact, your partner can even “pretend” to be hypnotized and this can work beautifully to actually create the slower brainwaves!
Step 2: Say good things. Tell your partner how much you love and appreciate him/her/zir. If you think you’ll be at a loss for words, write something down ahead of time. Or you can always find an appropriate poem or read a romantic passage from a book, telling your sweetheart to imagine that the passage is about them.
Make sure you are speaking slowly, in a relaxed, calm way. Pause to breathe. Let your voice reflect your emotions.
Step 3: Take about 5-10 minutes total, and then switch. Then notice how this simple exercise has amplified the sweetness of your connection.
Here’s a sample script from the workshop. Its purpose is to emphasize comfort, emotional safety, closeness, bonding, being present with partner, and to affirm feelings of affection and love, attraction, sexiness, etc. It’s also great to reduce stress before sex and improve emotional confidence. (Note: don’t read the instructions that are capitalized, in brackets.)
[INDUCTION – REPEAT 2 OR 3 TIMES]
Take a deep breath in…hold…exhale slowly, and close your eyes. As you relax and breathe, allow your body to loosen up and feel a gentle, warm glow melting into your body. When you are ready, take another deep breath in… hold it at the top…and feel the tension leave your body and all the warmth streaming in. Once more, a deep breath in, hold, and as you exhale, bring your attention to the feeling in your eyelids, the relaxation of your eyelids as they are closed so gently down, flowing through your entire body, warming, soothing, relaxing… From the top of your head to the tip of your toes, relaxed, peaceful, comfortable…
Bring your attention again to the feeling of your eyelids, feel how they are so relaxed they just won’t want to move, and then go ahead and give them a check, and then stop testing, and just let yourself melt again into the feeling of soothing, relaxing warmth.
Every part of you is filling with a very slow ebb and flow of glowing, relaxing warmth. It is flowing into your cells, and nerves, muscles, bones, and every organ, filling every part of you, even the parts that feel cold or tense. That warmth is just melting away any tension in your body or mind, melting any resistance. You feel so relaxed, so relaxed…
As I count now from 5 down to 1, you’ll be letting yourself go even more deeply into this warmth, relaxing twice as deep, or maybe even ten times as deep with each number.
5… this warm glow is taking hold, soothing you and relaxing you, twice as deep
4…it’s almost like a warm sun or star inside yourself, glowing with just the right amount of warmth, reaching your toes, your fingertips, every part of you, inside and out, letting you go twice as deep
3…knowing that you can retain this warmth, glowing inside of you, knowing you can relax, twice as deep
2…you may even be so warm and toasty that you begin to radiate like a heater, glowing and warming and glowing and warming six or even twelve inches outside your body, allowing for complete relaxation, twice as deep
1…feeling so good, so comfortable, so relaxed, so comfortably warm.
[CREATE A HYPNOTIC “SANCTUARY”]
In this wonderful, deep hypnotic rest, I’d like you to now imagine go to a beautiful sanctuary of your own choice, a place of healing, power, and peace. Imagine yourself resting in this beautiful spot, feeling and sensing everything around you – the air on your skin, the sounds, smells, and colors. Imagine yourself resting in this spot and focusing only on the sound of my voice. Take my voice, my words, deeply into your mind and your imagination. Let these words drop into your heart and melt into the warmth that you are already feeling in your body. Let your subconscious mind enjoy these words, and all the feelings of love and affection they convey.
[NOW: SHOWER WORDS OF LOVE, PRAISE, AFFIRMATIONS, ETC. OR READ THAT LOVE POEM. MAKE SURE ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE EGO-STRENGTHENING AND KIND.]
Thank you for listening to these words so beautifully, and I feel gratitude for being able to say them to you while you are in this restful, peaceful state.
Now I’m counting you up from 1 to 5.
Completing the integration of words of love with your subconscious.
Beginning to allow yourself to come up out of trance, easily and gently.
Eyes still closed, but bringing your awareness back into the room.
Wiggling fingers and toes, stretching, feeling relaxed and refreshed.
Eyes open, feeling good!
There, it’s really that easy. And please do try this at home! And don’t forget to take turns! If you like it, this is only the beginning of an erotic hypnosis adventure you can enjoy together.