It seems that for me, sexology has been more of a lens than a vocation.

And informal surveys have been my passport to better understanding of such things as objectum sexuality, erotic hypnosis, spectrosexuality, and other topics. For me, the comments and responses to open-ended questions are always more important than the numbers. It’s the qualitative responses which allow me to best understand “what people do and how they feel about it.”

However, much as I like comments in my surveys, I avoid them when attached to news articles, as any sane person should. That way lies madness. I have no desire to study venom.

“And no kinds of love, are better than others…” Velvet Underground, Some Kinda Love. 

In 2009 I did an informal survey of English-speaking members of OS Internationale, an organization of objectum sexuals (people who love objects). I published the results in a general article in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality in 2010 and ended up with some national TV appearances, which surprised the heck out of me. Journalists are intrigued with this topic and I get several press inquiries a year. Other people write without articles without speaking to me. My name and work in this area has made it into numerous articles, podcasts, and blogs. I’ve only seen and heard a fraction of what’s out there. Emotionally, I’ve had to separate myself from this attention because not all of it is good. But sometimes I am pleased by what I find.

Today I discovered I’d been mentioned in this article on objectum sexuality in the Daily Sun (UK edition).  I am happy the quotes used are the ones that validate OS as an orientation.

A few days ago, a journalist wanted to know if I knew any OS person who had a relationship with Notre Dame, which was burning. They wanted to write a “sensitive” article on a unique kind of grief, I suppose, but I think the request was in bad taste. Any OS person involved with a burning building would be in the midst of catastrophic sorrow and should not be asked for an interview under such circumstances. I knew of no such person and would not have given their name even if I did.

I still wish though that someone would do meticulous research into the possible links between objectum sexuality and object personification synesthesia. To me there is logic in the idea that if some people experience personalities in objects, and have an emotional reaction to those personalities, that some emotional reactions could include love and sexual attraction. (See this 2007 case study for an idea of what I’m talking about.)

“And some kinds of love are mistaken for vision…” Velvet Underground, Some Kinda Love.

stanhope

Some kinds of love include visions. Spectrosexuality is my current interest. See this page on my Lady of the Lake blog for links to the results of my informal March 2019 survey of 100 neopagans who have had intimate contact with gods and other sorts of spirits. This phenomenon is found all over the world, throughout history–not just among modern neopagans. I think it’s a fascinating topic that hasn’t had much acknowledgment in sexological circles.

Some kinds of love invoke and suggest visions. I have surveyed 225 people who use erotic hypnosis to add excitement and variety to their personal relationships. It is a form of sexual “enrichment,” similar to neo-tantra, BDSM, toys, role play, swinging, and so on. Erotic hypnosis is a great way to enhance bonding, sensation, role play, fantasy and more.

As a sexologist and sexuality counselor, my mission is to listen to people and meet them where they are in their understanding of their erotic lives. Adults who are erotic “outliers” deserve respect and consideration. As long as their activities are consensual for all concerned, I’m cool and I’m at their service.

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