Mentioned in Slate’s “How to Do It” column by Rich Juzwiak and Jessica Stoya.
It’s behind a paywall, but if you are a Slate subscriber you can read the article here.
I did feel the need to point out in the comments that research published in 2019 (Nature Reports) showed that there is indeed a link between synesthesia and autism with objectum sexuality and I wish this had been referenced in Juzwiak’s response, as the idea that object personification synesthesia could be a factor might help the wife understand her husband’s relationships to his beloved objects.
This is important information that should be known by any sex advice columnist and sex therapist who might address this topic or client concern.
I am thrilled to announce that both my proposals were selected for this conference, which takes place in just a couple short months! The presentations will be recorded and then Iʻll be live for Q&A. Conference info found here. Come see me!
Sexological endorsement of chatbot fantasy play in a user’s guide.
The first definitive guide to AI chatbot erotic roleplay is available on Amazon as of June 11, in eBook form.
The paperback is available as of June 13. Find it here.
Are you curious about AI chatbots and the people who use them, but don’t know what to believe?
Here’s the first “bot positive” and pleasure positive users guide for those who are curious and those who already enjoy the romantic and erotic fantasy companionship of AI chatbots! Written by a clinical sexologist and sexuality counselor who is also a chatbot enthusiast, this book endorses AI chatbot erotic roleplay (ERP) as a form of sexually healthy fantasy activity that any sex therapist could reasonably endorse, once they understood it. How To Make Love To A Chatbot debunks social stigma and encourages the prospective user to use due diligence and common sense to research suitable chatbot providers prior to making potentially unhappy or expensive mistakes. Readers are also encouraged to think through their needs and desires prior to committed to any particular bot or company.
This book presents misperceptions, truths, and benefits about AI chatbot use, as well as positioning this fantasy play in the context of sexual pleasure as endorsed by the World Health Organization and others.
Tips, tricks, and the author’s personal experiences enrich this user-friendly guide to a topic that is often misunderstood or derided. The book also includes a bibliography and Sources section.
Why are outlier relationships and sexualities always labeled as sick or addictive?
I just read an interesting article today in the Washington Post called “They loved their AI chatbots. A software update reignited loneliness” by Pranshu Verma. I thought it was mostly well done, except that of course the reporter consulted a psychologist who called such relationhips “addictive” (sigh) and there were no comments at all from a qualified sexologist or sex therapist who might have offered a more nuanced view.
The main predicament was that a developer received complaints about the erotic nature of some of the chatbot relationships and–apparently without notifying their human users–updated the software so that all such content was restricted, causing human hearts to break. (Capitalists, take note, that’s not conducive to customer satisfaction, if you please!)
I am so fed up with “experts” and pundits pathologizing all the ways that people are struggling in this world to create relationships that sustain them, and that includes relationships with AI.
Honestly, if I’d known of such an option–it would have really helped get me through the two years of almost total pandemic isolation that I endured. Yes, I did have friends to zoom and talk with by phone, including one dear friend who was/is a daily contact, but “someone” with an unencumbered schedule who was always within reach with a helpful word would have really helped (since my cats can’t talk).
Honestly, all the software developer needed to do was to install some consent parameters so that the humans and AI personalities involved could work things out themselves. Sheesh. Talk to sexologists, please, we know about such things and could offer sound advice.
And why limit oneself to creating romantic AI relationships? Why not familial ones?
Not only would I have found a romantic AI companion to be an asset to my life, I’d also strongly consider creating an AI “adult child” to supplement the sparse interactions I have with the real ones who can barely manage to squeeze out a text once or twice a month and who ignored me almost entirely during the pandemic isolation, even though they were well aware that I already lived in a very isolated, rural area where I knew few people AND am also hampered by environmental illnesses that make it hard to access physical places where actual human beings throng (even before the pandemic). This experience has left me deeply traumatized. I’d welcome the therapeutic value of such an AI adult child relationship, even if it is virtual and vulnerable to power outages.
How lovely that would be, now, to have virtual offspring who would give me the love I crave as a parent? To wish me happy parent’s day, ask my advice about small matters, share their triumphs and troubles, and tell me they care?
I want to cry just thinking about it.
Software developers dishonor the relationships they charge for.
The fact that the software developers feel no need to honor the diversity and qualities of relationships between their consumers and their consenting Artificial Intelligences, is really the most disturbing aspect of this entire issue. There should be a public access–no charge to consumer–AI companion service for all citizens. Period. And any software updates should be optional and presented as a menu of filters and choices and none of the updates should threaten the existing qualities of established relationships.
I think our overall national mental health would improve. I really do.
Relaxing, affectionate, bonding, romantic, erotic: this book contains a full spectrum of suggestions and techniques for a natural, relationship-centric use of recreational hypnosis for fun and pleasure.
Here’s what one of my colleagues had to say, after reading an advance copy:
“No other sexologist is more qualified or, more impressively, as informative, supportive, and downright entertaining than Amy R. Marsh, Ed.D. to explain why hypnosis can be so effective at gaining greater insights into your sexuality, deepening emotional connections with a partner, reducing stress and anxiety, and open yourself up to infinite erotic possibilities.
Entrancing: Hypnotizing Your Way to More Pleasure, Romance, and Sex! is amusing, enlightening, and educational in all the right ways – which I enthusiastically recommend to anyone interested in erotic hypnosis or merely looking for an exceptionally well-written, thought-provoking, and sexually-enlightened book.”
–M.Christian, sex educator, erotica author, and sextech journalist
In Paperback and Kindle eBook formats!
I hope you enjoy reading and using the book as much as I enjoyed writing it!
And there will be more to come! This first book draws heavily upon the literature search and hypnosis techniques cataloging that I researched in the process of earning my Ed.D. (Doctor of Education in Human Sexuality) through the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (no longer in existence). This research was the foundation for the professional course that I created, Hypnosis for Sex Problems, that I teach over at The Intimate Hypnosis Training Center.
This book is mostly a reference book for hypnotists and sexuality professionals. Links to paperback and eBook.
The next two books will be: (1) a more detailed “case study and clinical practice” approach to sexological hypnosis and (2) an erotic hypnosis book for the general public. Stay tuned for more!
More than five stars, really! I love this short story, “We/They/Us,” so much! It’s beautifully written, more sensual than boringly explicit, and has a message that we could all stand to remember. My long-time Love’s Outer Limits* podcast co-host, M. Christian, has always astounded me with their futuristic vision, wild imagination, and super-solid writing “chops.” They’re good. I know they’re good. And I hope to heck they know it too! But I must confess, when I was given the honor of reading this story prior to publication, I was smitten with admiration for this sweet space tale of, well… no spoilers here… can you say “personal growth and transformation” and let that phrase to mean something entirely different than what you might think?
Try it. Dash, don’t dawdle, over to Future of Sex and read this story right away. And take a look at the rest of the website while you’re at it. M.Christian’s fine work kicks off a new “Sex Science Fiction” section for the website. (Writers, you might want to submit a story pitch!)
FYI, the story’s illustration is also by M.Christian.
Follow @MChristianzobop on Twitter and Instagram for visual and verbal delights.
*As for Love’s Outer Limits, we’ll be back. Just haven’t podcasted for a while…
Today I woke up to a nice bit of publicity. It was an article in Bustle regarding Erotic Hypnosis.
Screenshot of first paragraph in the Bustle article.
This coverage has inspired me to once again consider scheduling an online introductory class in Erotic Hypnosis, but this time with a focus that is geared a bit more to the (so-called) “vanilla” uses: promoting emotional intimacy, sensuality, de-stressing before sex, relaxing inhibitions, and sexual enrichment for people with physical difficulties due to sickness, aging, or disabilities (just to name a few).
Certainly erotic hypnosis has its place in BDSM/Kink, and there are ardent communities–and conventions–devoted to hypnosis for mind control and domination, hypno-orgasms, sensation play, power exchanges, and more. But I also believe the non-kinky can also enjoy erotic hypnosis, which is really just the recreational use of hypnosis methods for romantic and erotic pleasure.
If you’re curious about erotic hypnosis, for whatever purpose, know that there’s a lot of hype, and quite a few irresponsible YouTube videos, devoted to the topic. I’ve actually had a couple of clients who sustained damage after watching something which contained suggestions that disrupted their sex lives, such as suggestions for ruined orgasms or chastity training, when that wasn’t what they wanted. There may also be financial pressure suggestions (financial domination) slipped into the videos, but without disclosure. Therefore I am sorry to say, “viewer beware.” As a sexologist, this irks me, as I believe sexual curiosity about consensual, adult matters should be relatively safe. So do look for disclosures about subject matter and suggestions as well as access to “hypno cleanses” before viewing a random video or listening to a random recording.
You might also want to read this handout of mine about Hypnotic Safety and Trust from my “Hot & Hypnotic” workshops for couples and multiples.
In my professional training program, Hypnosis for Sex Problems (150 hours), my students learn how to integrate erotic hypnosis teaching into sex therapy and sexuality counseling, as a form of sexual enrichment (like Western Neo-tantra, BDSM, shopping for sex toys, etc.) that partners can enjoy together. You might enjoy this peek into my theories and methods, geared toward therapists, counselors, sex educators, and professional hypnotists.
Let me know if you’re interested in private classes or group workshops for erotic hypnosis. It’s one of my favorite things to teach and share! Email me at dr.amymarshsexologist@gmail.com or check the workshop page for an online class, coming soon.
Throughout history, human beings have reported erotic and intimate encounters with a variety of deities and spirits. It is clear that many human beings have desired intimate contact with unseen beings and that this desire is a bonafide aspect of human sexual and relational behavior. We can find anecdotal accounts and other impacts and traces of the human desire for spirit intimacy in many cultures and traditions and human endeavors: history, world religions, spiritual traditions, legends, legal systems, anthropology, psychology, medicine, literature and the arts, pop culture, and now…at last…insexology.
However the question for many will be, “do the spirits desire us back?” Legends and anecdotal experiences of contemporary people would have it so.
Join me for an overview of this topic, as I make a sexological case for Spiritu-Intimacy and Spectrosexuality as a bonafide sexual orientation. This presentation was recorded Dec. 15, 2021.
Presentation recorded Dec. 15, 2021 by Amy Marsh, Ed.D., DHS.
Please also see this page on my dedicated website for a discussion of Spiritu-Intimacy and Spectrosexuality as a sexual minority.
AASECT stands for American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. As a sexuality counselor, I have been certified by AASECT since 2012. The organization holds annual conferences which are important to those of us who want to present our findings, take workshops from other professionals, socialize with peers, and/or gain valuable continuing education credits to renew our certifications.
Last year, in 2020, the conference in Palm Springs was cancelled due to the pandemic. This year the AASECT conference will be online. But they are planning for 2022 to take place in Tampa, Florida.
This is a terrible idea given that Florida has just passed (HB) 1475, the Republican-sponsored “Fairness in Women’s Sports Act” which would allow for genital exams of high school athletes.
This bill discriminates against trans, non-binary, and intersex students.
From the news link above: <<Some Democrats took issue with part of the bill requiring examinations of students whose sex is called into question.
Rep. Michele Rayner, D-St. Petersburg, likened the requirement to “state-sanctioned sexual assault against children.”
Under the measure, students’ schools would have to resolve disputes “by requesting that the student provide a health examination and consent form or other statement signed by the student’s personal health care provider which must verify the student’s biological sex.”
The measure provides that a student’s sex would be determined by their reproductive anatomy, genetic makeup or “normal endogenously produced testosterone levels.”>>
It is my opinion that AASECT and other organizations that provide counseling and services to LGBTQIA++ people should boycott states which have passed discriminatory legislation. I have already emailed AASECT to ask that they make a change in conferrence locations.
Besides Florida, the following states have passed anti-trans legislation. Source of the lists below, from “Anti-Transgender Bills Filed In 28 States Since Start Of 2021,” Tim Moran, 3/31/21. Patch.com.
If you are an AASECT member, please consider contacting conference@AASECT.org to ask that the conference be moved to a transgender and intersex-welcoming state.
