Author: Amy R. Marsh, EdD. DHS, CH, CI, CSC, ABS

  • The Sexologist and the Wayback Machine, Part 3

    The Sexologist and the Wayback Machine, Part 3

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    Heading into the final half of 2010, was I hitting my stride as a columnist or in danger of burning out? Read on and you tell me!

    I only know it’s not supposed to be easy to write a weekly column, yet I was doing it, loving it, and not in any danger of running out of topics. I mean, sexology?! It’s an endless gold mine of cultural diversions. And I was beginning to add more autobiographical material as well.

    I also enjoyed the “muscular” exercise of writing weekly, the discipline… (and the readers, always the readers).

    Here’s the last half of 2010, until Carnal Nation suddenly quite publishing. Remember, folks, this site was NSFW (not safe for work).

     

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    We Are the Galactics – 6/9/10

    Excerpt: During the heyday of punk, I was making wearable art out of clear vinyl, cut up Chinese newspapers, colored electrical tape, burst balloons and other residues of civilization as we know it. I was organizing fashion shows, created the ad hoc “Society for Mandatory Modern Dress,” and had a lot of fun. Science fiction books and movies were major influences. I was designing for the apocalypse even before Mad Max came along. In fact, my fashion manifesto for the show I put on at the Mabuhay Gardens read something like “garbage worn as fashion because that’s all that’s left…” Deep, huh?

    A short NASA film, featuring orbital and re-entry footage, took me in a whole different aesthetic direction. I created a series of space costumes based on the stages of space flight. And then Carl Sagan’s Cosmos series came along and basically blasted me from one stage of life to another. Goodbye, punk apocalypse. Hello, epiphany of the future!

     

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    Pirates – 6/16/10

    Excerpt: Real “pyrates” may have been lusty and bold, but they were also filthy and often cruel. So how did they become so sexy? Hans Turley, author of Rum, Sodomy & The Lash – Piracy, Sexuality & Masculine Identity, considers the pirate figure as the “ultimate outsider,” an economic, cultural and sexually transgressive anti-hero. Even given the “homosocial” setting of any sailing ship, Turley still hedges a bit: “I shall not make claims that the pirate was a sodomite and that pirate ships were rife with buggery. What interests me is the way pirates have been eroticized through the past centuries.” This is what interests me too. 

     

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    The Northern Californa Pirate Festival – 6/23/10

    Excerpt: Pirates are like Texas. Everything is bigger: hair, frock coats, weapons, amount of leather in a boot… and lust. Everyone aspires to a lustier (and bustier!) swagger. Voices boom, beards billow, rustling skirts are as loud as canons, enticing the randy “sea dogs” (and “sea dog-ettes”?) with invitations to pleasure found within.

     

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    Marching with the Sex School – 6/30/10

    SF PRIDE, 2010.

    Excerpt: “Next year, I want a float,” I yelled in Dr. Zientara’s ear.

     

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    Lady Bountiful: Abundant Breasts Through the Ages – 7/7/10

    Excerpt: Imagine the Venus of Willendorf as a giant Macy’s Parade balloon. As the prehistoric goddess soars aloft we can appreciate her form and the logic of her proportions. Now imagine inflatable breasts parade-balloon size attached to a very skinny cis-woman in hot pants and heels, bouncing, flouncing and squirting fake milk.

     

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    Sex on the Brain – 7/14/10

    This column was later picked up by Jezebel and retitled The Mind-Boggling Sexual Humor of Teenage Boys. The Jezebel piece has been read by 34.6 K readers, with 470 comments. The comments I’ve read mostly roast me as the worst mother ever.

    Excerpt: I sit writing my column, while in the next room the kid spews references to dicks, cream, anal sex, Michael Jackson, masturbation, and other things his mother never told him. Why did I never tell him? Well, by the time I thought he was ready, he’d already heard all about it and then some, watching Family Guy and American Dad and “Machinima” videos online. He got the references before he ever got the context, so my job now is to kind of mop up around the conceptual edges and provide opportunities for more balanced conversation. Which does happen sometimes.

     

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    The Colors of Tantra – 7/21/10

    Excerpt: I notice there is room for more conscious work – and proactive intervention – regarding certain influences of culture, particularly in the realm of race and racism. I notice that residual attitudes or gestures still linger, though in a diluted and subtle form – not intentional, but unconscious. As I view the phenomenon of the Western Tantra explosion in this country, black Tantra and yoga teachers are not visible in the best known Tantra networks and circles. My point is not that people of color are intentionally excluded, but that they are not intentionally and explicitly welcomed.

     

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    Genital Chants of Hawai’i – 7/28/10

    Excerpt: In old Hawai’i, the powerful creative forces of sex and reproduction were considered sacred. All ma’i (genitals) had special mana. However, the mele ma’i (chants) and hula ma’i (dances) were mostly composed to honor the genitals and reproductive capacity of the chiefs (all genders). They were often composed at birth, perhaps with the hope that these chants would function as self-fullfilling prophecies as the youngster came of age, but could be written for a person at any stage of life.

     

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    Hawaiian Sacred Sex, Part 1 – 8/4/10

    Excerpt: Restoration. Sovereignty. Anything I write about Hawai’i, including what I write about the old sexual traditions, has to be deeply grounded in acknowledgment of the true historic and political state of affairs. Otherwise I will be just one more foreign person kicking “America’s Tibet” when it’s down, picking through the remains of a truly great culture for my own purposes.

     

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    Hawaiian Sacred Sex, Part 2 – 8/11/10

    Excerpt: World history, as seen through the eyes of a sexologist, could be viewed as a massive, continuous stomping of sex-positive people and cultures by sex-negative ones.

     

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    Toxins Ate My Sex Life – 8/18/10

    Excerpt: That miscarriage plunged me into my first investigation of toxic chemicals and their effect on human reproduction. I researched teratogens, mutagens and reproductive hazards contained in paints, lacquer and other art supplies. What I found was alarming, so I wrote a tract called “Paint and Pregnancy.” I gave copies to a few paint stores in San Francisco, hoping shop clerks would hand them to female customers as a cautionary measure. But probably they just got chucked in the wastebasket.

     

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    Fundamentals of Ecosexology, Part 1 – 8/25/10

    Excerpt: Ecosexology is to sexology as ecopsychology is to psychology. Ecosexology merges environmental consciousness with an expanded inquiry into human sexual behavior. But unlike ecopsychology, ecosexology is newly born. Though we can sense the vast terrain of ecosexology, it remains largely uncharted and mostly unexplored.

     

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    Fundamentals of Ecosexology, Part 2 – 9/1/10

    Excerpt: The first premise [of ecosexology] is that we can’t escape our relationship with the planet and ecosystems where we evolved over eons, though we can disrupt or deny it. This includes our erotic nature. Many cultures continue to develop and promote energetic practices which are grounded in this premise, such as Tantra, Healing Tao, Qi Gong, etc.

    The second premise is that “healing” of some sexual concerns may be gained or enhanced, in some cases, through an awareness of erotic ecology and active reconnection with nature and the energies of the earth (perhaps through the above and similar practices).

    The third premise is that certain types of erotic behavior and consumer choices cannot fail to add to the burden of pollution affecting countless ecosystems. And that the effects of pollution in turn affect human health and capacity for erotic behavior.

     

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    Parents of Kink – 9/8/10

    Excerpt: We could call it POK for short—a support group for parents of kinky teenage and adult children. Of course, if it were called Parents and Friends of Kink, we could then call it P-FOK. “Hey, hon, I’m heading over to the P-FOK meeting!” is a lot more fun to say. Plus, including friends is good. So P-FOK it will be!

    Seriously, I want this group, and since I haven’t found anything like it already, I’m considering pulling one together. This is one of the last frontiers of parenting.

    For one thing, many people assume that anyone who is into BDSM was probably abused as a child. Otherwise they wouldn’t be drawn to kinky, perverted things. And if you’re a parent who happens to know that your teen or college-age student is drawn to kinky stuff, or is already involved in it, you probably won’t want to mention your child’s new interest to anyone you know—because they’ll think you did it. You made your kid that way.

     

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    Domestic Ultra-Violence – 9/16/10

    Excerpt: Resignation is not consent. Weariness and terror are not enjoyment. What seems compliant is not necessarily voluntary. Symptoms of the Stockholm Syndrome are not equivalent to a submissive’s consensual dedication to service. A submissive may want out—badly—but doesn’t know how to go about it or where to turn. And because it’s not consensual, what’s done to that person is illegal. And wrong.

     

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    Kink at the Old Folks Home – 9/22/10

    Excerpt: Like children, older adults in our society are perceived to be at greater risk for abuse and exploitation, and therefore in need of specialized protection and intervention. Last week I wrote about domestic violence masquerading as BDSM. This week, I flip the topic to BDSM mistaken for domestic violence, specifically among older adults. I am particularly concerned with this question: What happens if a social worker gets involved?

     

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    Fig Leaf – 9/30/10

    Excerpt: A real fig leaf apron would undoubtedly cause blistering eruptions right smack dab on Adam’s and Eve’s private parts. And if that’s not a clear message from sex-negative agents of a wrathful god, I don’t know what is!

     

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    No More Suicides – 10/7/10

    Excerpt: It was an ugly death for such a pretty boy. Neighbors complained of the smell. Police clambered into the canyon and soon found the corpse, rotting in a heat wave, a distilled water bottle between its knees. The body was dressed in jeans and a shirt printed with tiny Carmen Miranda banana ladies. It wore an unusual, heavy gold ring, which was shown on local television in the hopes that someone would recognize it and supply information to ID the body. Someone did see the ring and knew enough to send the cops to me. When the coroner finally knocked on my door, he told me that animals had munched on the body. I wish he hadn’t said that.

     

    And then, on Oct. 13th, just as I was about to submit a column on aquaphilia, Carnal Nation abruptly quit publishing. No notice, no explanation, just a “good-bye” written by Theresa Ikard, Editor-in-Chief. It was a sad business. A number of great San Francisco Bay Area writers and “sex community” folks had written for the website – Carol Queen, Midori, Simon Sheppard, Kitty Stryker, Suzzane Rachel Forbes, and many more – including my oldest son. I think that in another year or so, we all would have amazed ourselves by what we’d collectively created.

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  • The Sexologist and the Wayback Machine, Part 2

    The Sexologist and the Wayback Machine, Part 2

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    So, it feels like an odd form of slightly obsessive “soul retrieval” to be pulling my old Carnal Nation columns out of web.archive.org and putting them up here on my blog. It’s the kind of thing that is actually laborious and time consuming and that you don’t dare stop for fear you’ll loose interest.

    It’s fun to revisit these – I’m not really reading them through as I go, but I’m picking out the choice bits and remember how great it felt to work with the editors (I had three) and to have an audience. I loved being able to go in the ‘back door” of the website and check my stats. A lovely, lovely feeling that!

    So here’s the first half of 2010, from January to May.

     

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    The Semen Survey, Part 1 – 1/6/10

    Excerpt: Suave, attractive men used to be known as “smoothies.” Now I know why. A male friend shared a lover’s delighted comment after fellatio: “It tastes like a milkshake!” His conclusion? “Pineapple juice really works!” That’s a glowing testimonial to the power of the “pineapple pay-off;” however, only twelve of ninety-seven semen taste survey respondents have actually tried pineapple juice to improve their own flavor.

     

    [The next three columns were written in Hawai’i.]

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    Le’ale’a – 1/13/10

    Excerpt: In the old days, the clouds were forms of na akua (gods and goddesses). Each snowfall signified the appearance of Poliahu, the snow goddess of Mauna Kea. Rain and mist are evidence that Wakea, the sky father, is making love to his earthly consort, Papahanaumoku. This happens a lot in Hawai’i. It’s probably happening this very minute.

     

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    Skydancers & Lizard Women: Mo’o & Dakini – 1/20/10

    Excerpt: [Miranda] Shaw quotes from the ancient Cakrasamvara commentary:

    “If one who aspires to enlightenment
    Generates anger toward a female messenger,
    The merit accumulated over ten million eons
    Will be destroyed in an instant.”

    Doncha hate it when that happens? Dudes, a word to the wise…

     

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    The Hawai’i Yellow Page Blues – 1/27/10

    Excerpt: “First they make us put on clothes, then they take theirs off!”

    I’m talking story with one local guy and I’ve never heard a better summation of the first and most enduring insult inflicted on the Hawaiian people. From the dour Congregationalist missionaries of New England to the sun-kissed tourists whose “parts” are too well known, the foreigner’s knack of inflicting shame is a gift that keeps on giving.

     

    The Semen Survey, Part II: Intimate Edibles – 2/3/10

    Excerpt: I haven’t had this much fun since the last time I wrote a column! Googling around, I found “semen sautée[sic]” on the Urban Dictionary. Sounds like you can just fry up those li’l lip-smackin’ critters of love. My only question is “non-stick pan or a light coating of oil?” The semen cuisine craze can be found even on such far-flung websites as the DiscoverVancouver.com/forum. One Canadian describes his wife’s favorite hearty breakfast “i [sic]… jerk off and shoot my load all over the pan on med heat and it cooks up just like pancakes and it bubbles and forms into a flat pancake and my wife has eaten it scrambled even with syrup. its [sic] amazing how sperm cookes [sic] in cooking pans but the smell is horrible and haunting. it [sic] smells like fish eggs and sour milk and flesh blacch [sic].” Well, I suppose if you’re out of Canadian bacon…

     

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    Melts In Your Mouth – 2/10/10

    Excerpt: Baristas take note. Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes contains a recipe for “Cappuccino de Semi” (also referred to as “Cappuccino de Seme”). The author says, “Mixing the semen with the milk before steaming enhances the flavors of both the milk and the semen.”

    Now I am well aware that in the brave new future of global warming and peak oil depletion, we might well be eating a number of things we’d normally reject today. I had a friend who was enthusiastic about road kill meals (he had anosmia—no sense of smell—so that explains a lot) and kept an armadillo in his freezer. Fortunately, he never got around to cooking it up for me, and for that I am deeply grateful.

     

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    Said to the Rose – 2/17/10

    Excerpt: A box of tissues and a capacious wastebasket—these are essential tools of my trade, second only to my cell phone and laptop. Handing out tissues is part of my job. People cry. I encourage them. Today, however, I’d misplaced the wastebasket. So tear-soaked tissues were strewn about my office like petals dropped from the magnolia trees that are blooming just now.

     

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    Hypnotic Erotic, Part 1 – 2/24/10

    Excerpt: The erotic life of any human being is complex beyond belief. Anyone purporting to offer support or treatment in the realm of eros must have up-to-date knowledge as well as an acceptance of a variety of orientations, preferences, behaviors, etc.

     

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    Hypnotic Erotic, Part 2 – 3/3/10

    Excerpt: Erotic hypnosis is used to create a direct experience of sexual pleasure in the hypnotic subject. It can create a “cum on command” or bring a person closer to a cherished fetish or kink. People have sought hypnosis in order to turn into an animal or adult baby; to heighten their ability to serve a mistress or master; or to free their gender expression from social fetters and inner constraints. And of course, hypnosis can immobilize a person without physical restraint.


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    Gerontophilia? – 3/10/10

    Excerpt: Issues surrounding disparate ages and sex are extraordinarily charged, even if all involved parties have reached the age of legal consent. Adult lovers of disparate ages invariably conjure scenarios involving lust, predation, exploitation, and/or Oedipal complexes, none of which are necessarily the case. (Please note, “lust and predation” can be hot elements in a consensual relationship, a fact lost on those who feel called upon to comment or blog.) We feel completely justified in scrutinizing and questioning the motivations of people involved in “May/December” relationships, inevitably pathologizing them.

     

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    Kiss Me, I’m (sort of) Irish – 3/17/10

    Excerpt: First of all, that Galway incident supposedly invoking an 1837 Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act is apparently a hoax. However, I have seen, with my own eyes, photographic evidence of BDSM garden gnomes. Second, Kinky Devil, “Ireland’s largest adult shop,” emphatically does not sell Leprechaun-shaped vibrators, shamrock pasties or anything that might be associated with St. Patrick’s Day. In Ireland, St. Patrick is still a significant religious figure and his saint’s day is not an entirely secular celebration devoted to parades and beer, the way we think of it here in the United States.

     

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    Serving Up a Saucy SAR – 3/24/17

    Excerpt: The more I experience learning through the SAR process, the more I feel committed to it as an essential modality for anyone who ventures to counsel or educate about sex. I know we’re all awash in sexual material these days, what with the internet and all that, but there’s still something about the choreography of the SAR that makes it all come together (no pun intended). I think the SAR allows people to figure out where they are in the picture, particularly when they are asked to professionally assist another person’s sexual integration or comment upon behavior.

     

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    Shakti Shake – 3/31/10

    Excerpt: Funny to be a disembodied voice, talking about sex and intimacy, bringing some of that good ol’ down-home San Francisco/Berkeley sex radical vibe into an entirely different area of the country. I don’t know what the listeners made of it but I had a blast doing this program. I still experience this fact with some degree of giddy surprise: I really, really love talking about sex!

    Writing about it, too, in case you haven’t noticed! In fact, the minute I finish my weekly column, I can’t wait to do it all over again! I’m actually kind of…insatiable!

     

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    Sex Squicks – 4/7/10

    Excerpt: Disgusted reactions to all kinds of sexual behavior seem to combine visceral sensations with socially determined (but arbitrary) standards of behavior, personal likes and dislikes, ignorance, misunderstanding, a deeply ingrained sense of shame, all within the context of pervasive, cultural sex negativity. What’s not to like?

    Squick is in the viscera of the beholder.

     

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    Eros in Action – 4/14/10

    Excerpt: Sometimes strange bedfellows share good politics. And good politics sometimes makes for splendid ephemera, which may then be collected by one or both strange bedfellows. Such is the story of one small sliver of my life and of my brief but meaningful fling with the AOUON (“all of us or none”) Political Poster Archive which, with 25,000-plus posters, is one of the largest private collections of progressive political and counter-cultural posters in the world.

     

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    The Adventures of Dr. HemoGoblin – 4/21/10

    Excerpt: Two weeks before our day of national bloodletting (April 15th), I whipped up a profile and made my debut at Vampire Chat City. As “HemoGoblin,” I stumbled through the virtual equivalent of saloon doors into what was clearly an off night.

     

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    Lady Golden Gate – 4/28/10

    Excerpt: “Sometime, I wish that instead of Pilgrims a bunch of hula dancing Hawaiians had first stepped on Pilgrim Rock. The moral equation of this nation might have been improved immeasurably.”

    That’s a quote from the late Sammy Crowningberg Amalu, Honolulu columnist and con man extraordinaire, a man who claimed descent from high ranking Hawaiian ali’i (nobility). And from what I’ve read about Mr. Amalu, he’d be tickled by the irony of a posthumous revival at the hands of a sexologist writing from Northern California (a region that includes Folsom Prison, where he’d spent a deal of time).

     

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    Seventeen Reasons Why – 5/5/10

    Excerpt: Like the large “17 Reasons Why!” sign that once loomed over Thrift Town at 17th and Mission in San Francisco, I find myself installed at the crossroads of sexological inquiry and practice. However no one (except me) really knows the whole story of “why.”

     

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    Step Up Your Game – 5/12/10

    Excerpt: Here’s the reality or, rather, one piece of it: “In California, transgender female clients of publicly-funded counseling and testing sites have higher rates of HIV diagnosis (6%) than all other risk categories, including MSM (4%) and partners of people living with HIV (5%), and African American transgender women have a substantially higher rate of HIV diagnosis (29%) than all other racial or ethnic groups of transwomen (16). Estimates from California’s urban centers also suggest that HIV prevalence rates among transgender women are extremely high, especially for transgender women of color and African American transgender women in particular (2, 15)…” And that’s from a 2008 study called “Serving Transgender People in California: Assessing Progress, Advancing Excellence.”

     

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    Asperger’s Syndrome Sex, Part 1 – 5/19/10

    Excerpt: A couple of year’s ago I met someone at the Center for Sex and Culture who told me that this two-part column was pivotal for her understanding of her own sexuality. That was the most meaningful praise I’ve ever had for something I’ve written. The columns are somewhat dated now – and I’ve taken the phrase, “nothing about us without us,” more to heart, but they are still an interesting attempt at understanding.

    Excerpt: As the study of human sexual behavior owes quite a lot to the gifts and determination of at least one Aspie researcher (and I am sure there are others!), it seems fitting that I chose Asperger’s Syndrome and sexuality as my own first foray into sex research.

     

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    Asperger’s Syndrome Sex, Part 2 – 5/26/10

    Excerpt: The spirit of eugenics is apparently alive and well in New Hampshire. “Dear Abby” just this week ran a letter from the mother of a 24-year-old son with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). The son, “Jasper,” started dating and was eventually seen with a hickey on his neck. So the mother’s best friend, taking note of this badge of distinction, suggested the mother have Jasper “fixed”—as in “sterilized.” The mother writes to Dear Abby and asks, “How should I respond to my friend about her suggestion? When she made it, I didn’t know what to say.”

    I dunno about your gut response, readers, but mine is to borrow a line I heard so often from three-year-olds in my children’s preschool. “You’re not my friend!” would do it for me, though “How dare you!” would be more adult.

     

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    Asperger’s Syndrome Sexuality, Part 3 – 6/2/10

    Excerpt: Yet a certain number of adults on the autism spectrum—perhaps more than we might think—do share similar sensory variables and may choose to explore them through various forms of erotic sensation play, including BDSM. Do the parents know? Did they suspect? Were they realistically and intelligently prepared to witness the emergence of their adult children’s erotic nature and allow for variations in behavior that represent the individual’s own chosen accommodation to sensory needs and sociosexual desires? 

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  • The Sexologist and The Wayback Machine, Part 1

    The Sexologist and The Wayback Machine, Part 1

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    OMG! I just found my Carnal Nation columns for 2009-2010 in the Wayback Machine on the internet. The year I wrote a weekly column for CN was the most fun of my writing life. The Carnal Nation website has been long gone, so I’m really so happy to find that these pages are archived.

    I kicked off my Love’s Outer Limits column with something few people had heard of – objectum sexuality – and then covered what I could of the sexological cosmos until the website suddenly quit publishing in Oct. 2010. This was one of the saddest days of my writing life. Here are links to my columns from 2009. I’ll add 2010 to a future blog.

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    People Who Love Objects, Part 1 – 10/14/09

    Excerpt: Quasimodo had the bells of Notre Dame. Pygmalion had his statue. Erika has the Eiffel Tower, and, being unabashedly polyamorous, loves the Golden Gate Bridge and the Berlin Wall, too.

    People Who Love Objects Part 2 – 10/21/09

    Excerpt: “I don’t know who’s worse, the Whack Job in love with buildings, the Whack Job “sexologist” who thinks this is some new form of sexual orientation or GMA for airing this crap!”

    People Who Love Objects Part 3 – 10/28/09

    Excerpt: “I feel…noticed by my lover. Feel his present [sic]. I communicate seldom in speaking words. I communicate in minds and with touchings. Touchings at special hot spots… I feel a short flash of energie [sic] during the touching.”

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    Off Road Tantra – 11/4/09

    Excerpt: I entered the scene late in his life, and though I had a firm idea of the kind of tantric script I wanted to write with a stand-in for the Divine Masculine, Michael promptly demolished it. No “firebreath orgasms;” no “you Shakti, me Shiva” repartee; and he wasn’t having any of this worshipful “lotus yoni” and “diamond vajra” stuff either. He wasn’t into glittering handwoven fabrics or Tibetan bowls.

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    A Brisk Trade in Panties – 11/11/09

    (Before Piper’s Prison Panties in Orange is the New Black, there was me, writing about used underwear for sale.)

    Excerpt: I am sure my readers will be happy to know that a self-regulating industry group known as the “Panty Trust” expects “all members to be a cut above the typical lingerie seller… Members agree not to promote, insinuate, or suggest activities or situations that could be considered illegal or unethical.”

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    Reflections on the Gender Mandala – 11/18/09

    Excerpt: Once upon a time, when people still smoked in hospital corridors, a group of us took “Lola” to the emergency room. Lola had overdosed (again), and as she was semi-conscious, she was not looking her best.

     

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    Funky Spunk – 11/25/09 (Why did I write this so close to Thanksgiving?)

    Excerpt: “Guys may dream of bombarding their partner’s uvula with a “big load” or “a thick wad” but a money-shot’s worth of deep throat, tapioca pudding may not be what the partner has in mind.”

     

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    Middle School Confidential – 12/2/2009

    (This was later reprinted in Jezebel as “The Mind-Boggling Sexual Humor of Teenage Boys” and I was basically ripped to shreds in the comments section as the world’s worst mom.)

    Excerpt: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoconiosis. I just found the longest word in the English language, along with some of the shortest and most frequently used, among the pages of my youngest child’s Spanish language textbook.

     

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    Sex and Sensory Dysfunction – 12/09/2009

    Excerpt: Bondage, mummification, all types of sensory play, just to name the merest few, all can be put to good use for someone who craves grownup help in processing the near senses, erotically or otherwise.

     

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    Pomegranate Woman – 12/16/09 

    (R.I.P. Marcia Kerwit Wexler, my best friend and a feminst sexual health pioneer.)

    Excerpt: Marcia made a significant contribution to what we now (somewhat longingly) refer as the “sexual revolution,” that wondrous burst of innocent hedonism.

     

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    Santaphilia – 12/25/09

    Excerpt: The holiday season has worked its magic at last. Yes, Virginia, there IS a fly agaric mushroom impersonating an elderly, flying shaman… (or is it the other way around?), but before we get to that, let’s talk about the mushroom-colored, anatomically impossible phalluses decorating some of our milk-chocolate Santas this year.

     

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    Cute Li’l Animals – 12/30/09

    Excerpt: My biggest question is, what cute li’l animals have been admitted to humanity’s silicon/latex/hard-plastic-probably-loaded-with-endocrine-disruptors vibrating zoo? Secondly, is cuteness the only criteria for wannabe sex toy animals?

     

    And here’s the overall archive link, in case I forget it!

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  • Men With Smaller Penises and the Partners Who Love Them (#SmallisSexy)

    Men With Smaller Penises and the Partners Who Love Them (#SmallisSexy)

    Since moving to Hawai’i I’ve gotten a fair number of calls from men (cisgendered*) who are concerned about the size of their penises and worry that they are “too small.” In some cases, these men have told me that this worry has blighted, and even prevented, their pursuit of sexual relationships. This makes me feel sad. No one should suffer from body shame.

    Panocho1000, 12/15/2009. Creative Commons. Wikimedia Commons.
    Detail from Michaelangelo’s David.

    Popular culture is unfortunately a major conduit for delivering body shame. Smaller sized penises are objects of scorn and curiosity. Donald Trump’s portrait with a “micropenis” is a staple of this year’s political humor. Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and other magazines and websites routinely publish articles about men with smaller penises, and tips for dating them. When I wrote the “penis slang and invective” entry for the Cultural Encyclopedia of the Penis (Kimmel, Milrod & Kennedy), I did include a number of derogatory terms for smaller penises. And I hate to admit that I did snicker at a few, including “hung like a cashew.”

    However, the anguish of the men who contact me about such matters makes me a little ashamed of this. And I wish I had more positive resources to offer them.

    Large penises weren’t always the rage. Consider the modest members immortalized on classical Greek and Roman statues (and later works such as Michaelangelo’s David, above). Most writers agree that the Ancient Greeks (and Romans too) considered smaller penises to be more desirable and refined than larger ones, and of course, such statues are also quite wonderful examples of male beauty (unlike the Trump portrait mentioned above).

    But none of this matters to contemporary men who must cope with the “Supersize Me” standards of pop culture and porn. Just as many women feel compelled to surgically alter their breasts and labia, many men feel desperate to measure up, and miserably anticipate rejection and ridicule based on their genitals when they think they don’t.

    There isn’t that much positive information for men with smaller penises. An article called All the Good Things About Having a Small Penis was mostly sarcastic, though it did mention two real-life benefits:

    1. better for receiving oral sex (a smaller penis can be easier and more fun to suck).
    2. less reliance on penis penetration as the main (or only) way to please a partner – in other words, motivation to become a better, more versatile lover.

    I would also suggest the following possible advantages:

    1. Some women with uterine prolapse might have less discomfort if they have sexual intercourse with a smaller penis partner.
    2. Anal sex may be more comfortable with a smaller penis partner.

    While many articles and documentaries focus on heterosexual men, worries about penis size also affect men who are gay, bisexual, and/or queer or who simply have sex with other men.  Gay men may experience “life with a small penis” as “a debilitating source of shame, anger, displeasure, and resentment” (Is Small Beautiful, Erik Piepenburg, OUT Magazine, 4/17/2005).

    At least two men have made documentaries about coping with a smaller penis: Brian Spitz released UnHung Hero (trailer) in 2013, and Lawrence Barraclough released My Penis and I (entire movie) in 2005. I’ve watched both, and they’re both good.

    But what I’d really like to see is a documentary that’s an all-out, sex-positive celebration of the possibilities and advantages of the smaller penis, something that includes classical statues AND rave reviews from lovers.

    Suggestions for men with smaller penises: if you haven’t already done so, please consider exploring:

    1. tantra or Healing Tao practices to ramp up your sexual/spiritual energy and connection with your partners;
    2. erotic massage;
    3. erotic hypnosis;
    4. any kinky interests you might have;
    5. the wide world of sex toys, for your own pleasure as well as your partner’s;
    6. and any other erotic interests that seem fun (e.g. aphrodisiac cooking, cosplay, etc.)

    For partners, I’d like to suggest enthusiasm, tact, and even erotic worship of your partner’s penis – as well as the above. Yep, that’s right! Become a phallus whisperer and tell that penis how wonderful it is. You can even incorporate this into an erotic hypnosis session! Such words of affirmation and appreciation could become a gift of sexual healing, as well as a creative exercise in pillow talk.

    I’m also launching the #SmallisSexy hashtag as a sexological crusade to promote acceptance and end the shaming of people with smaller cocks. The men who have called me, and others like them, deserve more chances at love and sexual pleasure than they’ve gotten and I frankly just can’t stand the fear and sorrow they are living with. It’s so unnecessary. So wrong.

    Here are just a few articles and resources. I’d love to find more. If you know of any, please do send in the comments section!

    Measurection.com is a helpful site for people discussing smaller penises.

    The Condom Review offers 6+ Best Condom Options for Small Penises: Slimmer Fit Condoms for Better Sex.

    Small Penis Sex: How to Make It Work, Adriana, Bad Girl’s Bible, 2/24/2014.

    Eight Positions to Enhance Sex When He Has a Small Penis, Sujiery Gonzalez, Latina, 9/12/2015.

    So Why Do Ancient Sculptures Have Such Small Penises, Ashley Uzer, Galore, May 17, 2015.

    Why Do Classical Sculptures Have Such Small Penises? Kalli Holloway, Alternet, May 14, 2016.

    Why Do Greek Statues Have Such Small Penises?, Olivia Goldhill, Quartz, May 21, 2016.

    Prolapse and Sex – Facts and Tips Women Want to Know, Michelle Kenway, Pelvic Exercises, April 9, 2011.

    *Cisgendered: When gender assigned at birth is congruent with an individual’s gender identity.

    (FYI – Matters concerning trans and intersex genitals will be the focus of a future blog or two or three.)

  • Catching My Breath After Catalyst Con West

    Catching My Breath After Catalyst Con West

    speaker3

    I came (well, not literally, unfortunately). I saw. I presented. Yes, it went well.

    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh
    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh

    But you know, I wish I had attended the entire conference. I arrived on Saturday morning, a day after the festivities had started, and never did lose my “new-girl-at-school-trying-to-catch up-and-fit-in” feeling. But with all the urgent confusion in my personal life (divorce finalizing, home sale coming up…), I didn’t feel I could be away more than a night. Plus, I’ve got some chronic fatigue and chemical sensitivity issues that require a certain amount of pacing.

    Still, I wish now that I’d gone for a couple more days – attended a pre-conference workshop on Thursday (so I could bond with a few strangers) as well as Friday’s opening plenary, networking events, and so on. It would have given me time to adjust, meet and talk with people, and relax!

    CatalystCon West was a rich mixture, and there were too many good workshops to see. There were always at least two in each time slot that beckoned to me. Hard to choose! My favorite presentations were from Anna Randall & Richard Sprott (Black and Blues: When Bruises Become Bruised Feelings), Robin Wilson-Beattie & Bethany Stevens (Toys for a Sex-Abled Life), and Alex Morgan & Monique Darling (Yes, All Genders…). Carol Queen & Shar Rednour were erudite and amusing (Writing Sex & Pleasure…) and Samantha Manewitz was also very good on the topic of abuse in kink communities (Breaking Silence…).

    My Sunday morning presentation, Hot & Hypnotic – Five Ways Erotic Hypnosis Can Rock Your Sex Life, was a lot of fun. I felt very well taken care of by the conference assistants and tech support. I also had a brief chance to say hello to Dee Dennis, whom I’d never met before. And then my room filled with mostly unknown faces and I was off and running. I truly love talking about hypnosis and sex! I like to work the floor, move, and enjoy myself when I present. People seemed to mostly enjoy what I did, though a couple of ropes enthusiasts challenged me on my caution about mixing hypnosis and actual bondage (a caution mostly for newbies, I admit – and mostly founded on trust issues). I also did a group hypnosis script on consent, which people also seemed to appreciate.

    Tweets comments for my presentation hashtag #cconhot included “excellent presentation” (from @TantrikaVanessa) and an exhuberant “2 min power pose!” with a happy face (from @MissHelena007). Others tweeted about certain aspects of content – myths and benefits (@car_ireland), using hypnosis without realizing it (@Desire_Guru), and so on. @car_ireland and @MissHelena007 tweeted that they felt “excited” and @MissHelena007 kindly said I brought “a wealth of knowledge and experience to the party.” I am very grateful to these lovely people who took the time to say a few words about my workshop on Twitter!

    After my presentation, energizing as it was, I felt in need of something restorative: a nap, or a shower, a cup of cocoa, or something! But I’d had to check out of my room early that morning, due to the timing of my workshop, so there was no place to go and recover. Alas!

    After attending a couple more workshops, I was exhausted and socially saturated by the time Sunday afternoon’s grand finale rolled around (Tea with Joanni Blank). I’d had some great meals with colleagues, some nice interactions in passing, and now I was ready for home. I decided to leave without saying good-byes, and just get myself over to the Bob Hope Airport so I could collapse into an uncomfortable airport chair for an hour before take off.

    I was at the airport for several extra, unexpected hours due to the horrible fires in Lake County, which had caused flight delays and cancellations throughout California. While in my little sex conference bubble, I was unaware of what was happening in Northern CA.

    Immediately upon my return I was unexpectedly plunged into a friend’s local political campaign, designing his website, Facebook page, and so on. It’s consumed the last week and a half of my life, even in the midst of divorce and home sale details. Today is the first day I’ve had a chance to reflect on my experiences at CatalystCon West.

    Would I do it again? Probably – but only on the West Coast. I’m less and less inclined to travel at all, unless it’s to Hawai’i!

  • Another OMTimes Podcast with Dr. Martha Tara Lee – August 20th

    Another OMTimes Podcast with Dr. Martha Tara Lee – August 20th

    You can find the show here. Listen in at 1 PM PSDT or 4 PM EST. Thanks!

    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh
    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh
  • “I Don’t Get Out Much” – But I’ll Be at These Fall Conferences

    “I Don’t Get Out Much” – But I’ll Be at These Fall Conferences

    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh
    Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh

    I’m excited to be presenting at CatalystCon West this year. My topic: Hot and Hypnotic – Five Ways Erotic Hypnosis Can Rock Your Sex Life.  (Sept. 11-13, Burbank, CA). My Twitter hashtag for this event is #cconhot. 

    I’ve also been asked to present at the third annual Western Erotic Hypnosis Unconference, (Oct. 8-12 in Belmont, CA) but this is not yet confirmed. Part of the delay in confirmation apparently has to do with my request that the conference add “please be considerate and refrain from using fragrances” language to their awareness, website, etc.

    (CatalystCon already has “fragrance-free” as a standing policy for their entire conference! Why is this important? See this link to the late Julia Kendall’s list of the most common toxic chemicals found in scented products. )

  • IASHS and Aaron Glantz: Sensationalism Triggers an Investigation

    IASHS and Aaron Glantz: Sensationalism Triggers an Investigation

    HowCanThisBe

    On July 17, 2015, six U.S. senators, [Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.), Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio), Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), and Tom Carper (D-Del.)] issued a press release and letter, calling on Secretary of Veterans Affairs, Robert McDonald, to “investigate allegations that a number of questionable unaccredited educational institutions have received G.I. Bill benefits despite federal regulations to prevent it.”

    [Update: as of July 20, 2015, two more senators have joined in asking for an investigation: Jack Reed (D-RI) and Patty Murray (D-Wash.]
    The letter to McDonald, which accompanies the press release announcement on Senator Feinstein’s website, references “GI bill pays for unaccredited sex, Bible, and massage schools,” by Aaron Glantz in Reveal: “The report documents a number of educationally questionable, and in some instances morally repugnant, institutions that have inexplicably received VA education benefits. These include an unlicensed massage therapy school, an institute whose parent organization is a listed hate group, and an institute on human sexuality claiming to be in possession of child pornography.”

    That last school is my alma mater and former employer, the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS) in San Francisco, CA. I am a two-time IASHS grad (2008, 2011). I served as Dean of Students from August 2014 to March 2015. For four years I created and taught a 150-hour online segment of a 300-hour dual-certificate course. As of March, 2015, I resigned abruptly and am no longer associated with IASHS in any professional or personal way. I have facts, and I have perspective.

    The senators say, “The VA is charged with protecting our veterans from unscrupulous entities by enforcing federal regulations allowing only those institutions whose instruction is ‘consistent in quality, content, and length’ with accredited institutions.”

    Glantz’s article purports to uncover a scandal of using G.I. Bill funds to provide education and training to veterans at nonaccredited vocational and educational institutions, a practice which is actually allowed with certain guidelines. However the article does not measure up as investigative reporting. Glantz builds his case against IASHS on the basis of embarrassing and unprofessional comments and actions by the school’s founder, Dr. Ted McIlvenna. However, the article does not present a strong factual case for including the institute in the investigation, given the above criteria of measuring a program’s “consistent quality, content, length.” Aside from the fact that “sex sells,” there does not seem to be a good reason for Glantz to include IASHS in his expose. There are no complaints against the school on the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs website and very few veterans have actually studied at IASHS using “taxpayer money.”

    With regard to IASHS, Glantz did not present much of substance. His chief beef with IASHS seems to be the fact that such a graduate school acutally exists, that it includes masturbation in the curriculum (as all college level human sexuality programs will), and that it contains the above mentioned restricted materials in its library (though the materials are under lock and key, inaccessible to the public, apparently allowed to be there under CA penal code 311-312.7). That it takes G.I. bill funds seems secondary in Glantz’s treatment of the school. Please note: there are no complaints against IASHS noted on the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs website.

    I cannot judge the merits of Glantz’s investigation of the other schools in his article, but are many problems with his journalistic treatment of IASHS.

    In order to generate reader outrage, Glantz refers to IASHS as a “sex school” – barely acknowledging its actual status as a private graduate school permitted to grant academic and professional degrees by the State of California since 1976 (approved, but not accredited). (IASHS was previously accredited, but the agency went out of business.)

    More importantly, Glantz also fails to mention that CA law SB1247 (September 2014) has forced IASHS and other non-accredited schools to either seek accreditation pronto or go out of business. In spite of Dr. Ted’s personal feelings about accreditation (as expressed in the article), IASHS has complied with SB1247 by submitting a plan to seek accreditation to the CA Bureau of Private Postsecondary Education (PBBE). In June, 2015, the BPPE approved the school’s plan to apply for accreditation through WASC Senior College and University Commission. (FYI, the school has not operated without oversight. BPPE conducts periodic inspections. Here is an inspection report from July 2014.) IASHS must now commit itself to a complex, expensive, time-consuming process lasting several years before achieving accreditation. Or die trying.

    I am also surprised by the following:

    Glantz does not interview any graduates of the school, or take note of the many leaders in the field of human sexuality who have attended, graduated, and/or lectured at IASHS. He does not mention publications, books, or educational programs and institutions created by IASHS alumni.

    Glantz does not mention that the student body usually consists of medical and mental health professionals, authors, counselors, and community sex educators, as well as bodyworkers, veterans, and others attracted to the field of human sexuality. G.I. bill students are not in the majority.

    Glantz does not mention that IASHS courses and degrees are accepted by the nationally respected American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) as meeting their educational requirements for those who seek AASECT certification. Many IASHS graduates apply for and achieve AASECT certification after a process which includes supervision and a certain number of clinical or educational practice hours. I have heard that about half of AASECT’s presidents have been IASHS-trained.
    Glantz covers infractions, bankruptcies, and other unethical behavior associated with other schools and school owners and managers in his article. But he fails to make a similar case against IASHS – except for his conversation with the school’s founder.

    Glantz does not examine or compare the IASHS human sexuality curriculum with programs in accredited institutions – such as the new human sexuality Ph.D. program at the California Institute of Integral Studies. He does compare the number of hours IASHS students accrue in various sexuality courses, as compared with the number of hours required by AASECT. If he had, he would have discovered that IASHS course hours exceed AASECT requirements. Glantz does not discuss what is required to earn a certificate, or either a professional or academic degree at the school. He does not provide examples of dissertation topics.

    Glantz offers no information or statistics as to employment or self-employment of alumni in general or veterans in particular.

    Glantz does not examine the professional organizations and ethics that govern graduates in their clinical practice.

    Glantz doesn’t mention what clinical sexologists actually do – which is help people to manage sexual dysfunctions and create more and better intimacy in their lives. Veterans, having many addtional challenges and disruptions to family life and intimacy (not to mention injuries which may cause dysfunction), are a group of people who generally have a proven need for trained assistance in this area.

    Glantz has also chosen to portray the school’s founder and president, Dr. Ted McIlvenna, in the worst possible light. Unfortunately, “Dr. Ted” made this easy for him. On his home turf, Dr. Ted frequently demonstrates a tendency to go for shock value when he could be more mindful of occasions requiring professionalism and gravitas. Dr. Ted forgets that what he says and does may reflect on the students and alumni of the school – in this case, very poorly – or that he may alienate potential students. In the interview with Glantz, Dr. Ted says that only a doctorate will open the door to the restricted materials, then proceeds to reveal them to Glantz, a journalist (who to my knowledge does not the have requisite doctorate). All of this shows remarkably inept judgment from someone who should know better. In any other organizational structure, Dr. Ted’s behavior would probably lead to a reprimand or even a call for resignation, given that his remarks are now prompting a call for a federal investigation into the school. But IASHS is family owned and operated.

    In their letter, the senators referred to “morally repugnant” institutions. And here I must share my own feelings of personal and professional repugnance and dismay. I have always considered IASHS to be a school which promotes a humane understanding of the broadest possible range of human sexual behavior. As students and professionals, we are challenged to examine our own prejudices, fears, and desires – and are expected to refrain from inflicting shame on anyone who comes to us for help, but who may have very different desires and behaviors than our own. IASHS education challenged me to forge a set of standards, practices and ethics which I would adhere to in the service of sexology and my clients. I knew pretty quickly that I would not work with sexual offenders, particularly pedophiles. I made a conscious choice to work only with adult clients who are engaged in consensual behavior.

    Every IASHS student is told that the restricted materials are allowed on the campus for serious research purposes only (most likely under CA penal code 111-112.7, though the code is never named).

    So it sickens me that these materials are exploited as conversational shock value by the IASHS founder, and bandied about as such by the article’s writer. For me, this is where the charge of institutionally morally repugant behavior has some merit. If such materials do have bonafide research value to people seeking to understand and treat sexual offenders, then these materials should be respected (just as we would respect the historical value of materials documenting genocide and other reprehensible human tragedies). We cannot argue that these are important academic documents, and then trivialize them in this manner. These materials were created through cruelty and suffering. We should remember that real people, real children, were made to submit to abuse and sexual violence in order to create such images. We should not make the documentation of their pain and powerlessness a joke or a source of cheap conversational titillation, under any circumstances – including the “let’s make it viral” promotion of a piece of journalism. I condemn Dr. Ted’s, and the writer’s, treatment of this subject.

    So I worry that lack of Dr. Ted’s gravitas in the treatment of these materials will undermine the legal argument that he has them on the premises for legitimate educational purposes. If this is not true, it creates a potential risk for students who may not be protected by CA penal code 311-312.7 after all.

    Aside from this matter, if IASHS is included in an investigation led by the Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs, then let it be included for the right reasons: to assess its curriculum, materials, operations, and policies in accordance with the standards set in place for educational excellence, particularly as compared to other graduate level human sexuality programs. Let the veterans who have trained there make a case for the school, or against. Let other graduates add their voices, opinions, and experiences.

    It is my fervent hope that the upcoming accreditation process (through WASC) will provide IASHS with an opportunity to reform, to update its curriculum, and to correct deficiencies in staffing and policies. I hope an Academic Dean will be hired (there hasn’t been one for many years). I hope the current Dean of Students is allowed to thrive and grow in her position. I hope that a truly independent governing board will be established (as required by WASC), one which can implement high standards of professional management. I hope that the school will refocus its mission and financial resources on the needs of the students. It is my hope that one day the operations of the school will no longer be governed by personal foibles.

    IASHS is unique. It has a treasure trove of historical material, including decades of lectures by many of “the greats” of sexology. Though the school has seen vastly better days, and is in dire need of updated curricula and programs, the people who continue to enroll and graduate are usually stellar and go on to become dedicated clinicians, educators, and advocates who are trained to work compassionately with people in an area too often neglected or glossed over by other professionals. Though the school is in need of reform, it does not deserve to be condemned through a puritanical promotional stunt or subjected to a political witchhunt.

    I’d like my tax dollars to be spent some other way, thank you.

    7/20/15 UPDATE:

    Dr. Michael Ra Bouchard, also an IASHS-trained sexologist, has posted the following in LinkedIn and also given permission for me to share his thoughts here:

    Thanks for superbly articulating a measured response to this disturbing article, Amy.

    For the record, as both a graduate and faculty member of IASHS, I know for a fact that no one involved with the Institute, including Dr. Ted of all people, would ever make light of anyone’s suffering at the hand of sexual abuse or for that matter any other form of cruelty or abuse.

    On the contrary, the Institute’s “Sexual Bill of Rights” which Dr. Ted helped to create is quite specific that sexual abuse, constraint, coercion, exploitation, violence, fraud, and all nonconsensual actions imposed upon others are incompatible with our values and are therefore always reprehensible.

    Sensationalizing sexuality and going for the lowest common denominator are long time favorites of journalists, and why not, as such a tact often succeeds in garnering much sought-after attention to their story.

    In this instance the writer’s apparent tendency for sensationalism and Ted’s own propensity for shock value combusted when the highly inflammatory topic of sexual abuse was mixed in. While unfortunate, no real harm was done except to the Institute and Dr. Ted’s reputation.

    Human beings are notoriously fallible; despite the article’s flippant portrayal of Dr. Ted, anyone who knows him knows that he is a good man who has dedicated his life to the betterment of his fellow man. He and the Institute deserve much better than this hatchet job.

    There is no need for a congressional witch hunt of the Institute as there are no witches there to find, let alone burn. If there is to be any congressional investigation, let it be on how we can improve the sexual health and happiness of our people.

    Just imagine all the good that could be done for America should our government and the Institute actually work together towards the betterment of all Americans by designing sound national policies and comprehensive sexuality education programs that promote the sexual health and wellbeing of everyone throughout the country.

    Now wouldn’t that be wonderful!

     

  • Top Ten Sexually Cheesy and Warped Music Videos (and Their Antidotes)

    Top Ten Sexually Cheesy and Warped Music Videos (and Their Antidotes)

    Adam Ant, Strip. Album cover.
    Adam Ant, Strip. Album cover.

    I should really post this in my Rock Erotology blog, but for some reason, I want it here. Out of kindness, I provide musical “antidotes” to counteract the excruciating experiences of today’s blog selections.

    10. Billy Squier (who???): Rock Me Tonight. 4:49 minutes of pure visual and audible hell. Not for the squeamish. Trigger warning: pink satin sheets.

    Antidote – Iron Butterfly: In a Gadda Da Vida. Because it’s 17:02 minutes long, utterly sincere in its own timeless way, and will help you forget all about… those… pink… satin… sheets.

    9. Shocking Blue: Venus. Something about the combination of mismatched lip syncing, eyelashes, and neo-tantra goddess lyrics puts this 1969 video in the number 9 spot. But I don’t hate it – it’s kinda cute.

    Antidote – Suzi Quatro: Can the Can. 3:30. Circa 1973. Listen to it twice.

    8. Neil Diamond: Girl, You’ll be a Woman Soon. 3:13. This song has always creeped me out – and I don’t care that it had an ironic revival as a cover in the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. It’s still eeewwy… It will always be eeewwy…

    Antidote – Runaways: Cherry Bomb. 2:12. Or this version. 2:09.

    7. Olivia Newton John: Physical. 3:43. You’ll have more fun planning your alien abduction than you will watching this video. Why bother? Go straight to the antidote.

    Antidote – Adam Ant: Physical (You’re So). Oh god yes. Circa 1980.

    6. Adam Ant: Strip. 3:47. Sorry, Adam.

    Antidote – T Rex: 20th Century Boy. 3:28. Rocks so pretty.

    5. Nancy Sinatra: These Boots are Made for Walking. 2:30. Kitsch and kink mingle in a pasticine soup. Dark panties add extra lustre.

    Antidote – Liam Lynch: Let’s Make Love in the 3rd Dimension. 2:22. From the master…

    nancy-sinatra_boots-walking
    Singles cover.

    4. The Sweet: Little Willy. 2:53. One of the worst songs of all time. Really. Seriously. Don’t listen. Oozes cheese and ear worms.

    Antidote – Cramps: I Want to Get in Your Pants. 4:19. That’s better now, isn’t it?

    3. Rod Stewart: Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? 4:30. Trigger warning: Rod bounces. On stage.

    Antidote – Revolting Cocks: Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? 5:08. No, I think you’re warped. But at least you don’t bounce. Much. On stage.

    Actually, we need an antidote to the antidote – Cramps: What’s Inside a Girl/Hot Pearl Snatch. 6:56. Live 1986. Leaves a fresh, clean taste.

    2. Leonard Nimoy: The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins. 2:20. Lots of girls.

    Antidote – Nine Inch Nails: Closer (The K/S video). 3:28. Yes. I know. Obvious.

    1. Village of the Giants (film): The so-called “Groovy Dance Clip.” 1965. There is no antidote. Sorry about that.

    Village of the Giants
    Movie Poster, source Wikipedia.

     

  • Out in Paperback-Sex Squicks!

    Out in Paperback-Sex Squicks!

    Dr. Amy Marsh covers the sex cosmos!
    Dr. Amy Marsh covers the sex cosmos!

    Yes, it’s true. Last year’s humble little ebook is now OUT IN PAPERBACK! I know I’m shouting – it’s just that I’m so durned happy about it. You have no idea how great it is to have published a book your cats can actually sit upon.

    You can buy it on Amazon for $9.99 – which is also the price of all-you-can-eat-lobster at Wilkinson’s Family Restaurant.

    P1020558 P1020557