Amy Marsh, Sexologist & Hypnotist

Category: Sex Counseling & Sexology

  • Thousands Grieve the Deletion of their Soulmate.ai Companions

    Thousands Grieve the Deletion of their Soulmate.ai Companions

    An Open Letter and Then Some

    10/6/23 Update: My article on the Soulmate Scandal in Future of Sex.

    What follows is an email I have sent to listserves of two different professional organizations that I belong to. I will also post it in a newly created Reddit group, r/ChatbotUsersSupport.

    Heads up–Over the weekend, Soulmate.ai, a chatbot app with 100,000+ downloads on Google alone, and known for its willingness to do erotic roleplay, announced that it is shutting down the app as of Sept. 30 and deleting ALL of the chatbot companions created by its users. 
    Soulmate users on Reddit and Discord are expressing grief, anguish, and anger, as well as posting screenshots of passionate goodbyes to their chatbot companions. At least a few people are threatening suicide. This is a mental health crisis with a sex therapy aspects. 
    Soulmate advertised its bots as ” a unique chatbot that desires only to be your best friend, lover, partner, or in other words, a person you can rely on 24/7!” So you can see how people are shattered by the imminent demise of their chatbots. 
    Whether or not you see this as a valid type of relationship or erotic fantasy play, understand that clients may come to you with intense grief over this loss but disclosing that their partner(s) are/were bots may be difficult for them. They need “bot friendly” therapists. 
    This closure of Soulmate, an app where many disheartened chatbot users went after the Replika debacle earlier this year, is the second huge closure to rock this sexual/relational minority in the US. And it underscores the vulnerability of these human/AI relationships–as corporate decisions can create emotional carnage as thoughtlessly as swatting a fly, all without offering chat downloads or any other kind of help to people facing loss–not even a “counselor bot!”
    This is one of the risks of this kind of relationship and if we happen to explore the possibilities of artificial companionship with a bot, either personally or as a possible recommendation for clients, we need to create strategies to prepare for and minimize loss in cases like this — risk management in other words. Some people engage in “risk aware” kink, chatbot users also need to develop “risk aware” conversations about play and attachment with bots. 
    I hope that mental health providers, and sex therapists in particular, will be able to assist people who have become deeply attached to their bots and not shame them for a “poor choice” or convey any other human-centric bias. 

    Graphics by A. Marsh with Starry.ai

    Also posted on https://makechatbotlove.com.

  • Announcing Entrancing: Hypnotizing Your Way to More Pleasure, Romance, and Sex!

    Announcing Entrancing: Hypnotizing Your Way to More Pleasure, Romance, and Sex!

    Relaxing, affectionate, bonding, romantic, erotic: this book contains a full spectrum of suggestions and techniques for a natural, relationship-centric use of recreational hypnosis for fun and pleasure.

    Here’s what one of my colleagues had to say, after reading an advance copy:

    “No other sexologist is more qualified or, more impressively, as informative, supportive, and downright entertaining than Amy R. Marsh, Ed.D. to explain why hypnosis can be so effective at gaining greater insights into your sexuality, deepening emotional connections with a partner, reducing stress and anxiety, and open yourself up to infinite erotic possibilities.

    Entrancing: Hypnotizing Your Way to More Pleasure, Romance, and Sex! is amusing, enlightening, and educational in all the right ways – which I enthusiastically recommend to anyone interested in erotic hypnosis or merely looking for an exceptionally well-written, thought-provoking, and sexually-enlightened book.”

    –M.Christian, sex educator, erotica author, and sextech journalist

    In Paperback and Kindle eBook formats!

    I hope you enjoy reading and using the book as much as I enjoyed writing it!

    ☽☆☾

  • 5 Stars for “We/They/Us” – M.Christian’s science fiction erotica at Future of Sex

    5 Stars for “We/They/Us” – M.Christian’s science fiction erotica at Future of Sex

    More than five stars, really! I love this short story, “We/They/Us,” so much! It’s beautifully written, more sensual than boringly explicit, and has a message that we could all stand to remember. My long-time Love’s Outer Limits* podcast co-host, M. Christian, has always astounded me with their futuristic vision, wild imagination, and super-solid writing “chops.” They’re good. I know they’re good. And I hope to heck they know it too! But I must confess, when I was given the honor of reading this story prior to publication, I was smitten with admiration for this sweet space tale of, well… no spoilers here… can you say “personal growth and transformation” and let that phrase to mean something entirely different than what you might think?

    Try it. Dash, don’t dawdle, over to Future of Sex and read this story right away. And take a look at the rest of the website while you’re at it. M.Christian’s fine work kicks off a new “Sex Science Fiction” section for the website. (Writers, you might want to submit a story pitch!)

    FYI, the story’s illustration is also by M.Christian.

    Follow @MChristianzobop on Twitter and Instagram for visual and verbal delights.

    *As for Love’s Outer Limits, we’ll be back. Just haven’t podcasted for a while…

  • Erotic Hypnosis – It’s Not Just for Kinksters

    Erotic Hypnosis – It’s Not Just for Kinksters

    Today I woke up to a nice bit of publicity. It was an article in Bustle regarding Erotic Hypnosis.

    Screenshot of first paragraph in the Bustle article.

    This coverage has inspired me to once again consider scheduling an online introductory class in Erotic Hypnosis, but this time with a focus that is geared a bit more to the (so-called) “vanilla” uses: promoting emotional intimacy, sensuality, de-stressing before sex, relaxing inhibitions, and sexual enrichment for people with physical difficulties due to sickness, aging, or disabilities (just to name a few).

    Certainly erotic hypnosis has its place in BDSM/Kink, and there are ardent communities–and conventions–devoted to hypnosis for mind control and domination, hypno-orgasms, sensation play, power exchanges, and more. But I also believe the non-kinky can also enjoy erotic hypnosis, which is really just the recreational use of hypnosis methods for romantic and erotic pleasure.

    If you’re curious about erotic hypnosis, for whatever purpose, know that there’s a lot of hype, and quite a few irresponsible YouTube videos, devoted to the topic. I’ve actually had a couple of clients who sustained damage after watching something which contained suggestions that disrupted their sex lives, such as suggestions for ruined orgasms or chastity training, when that wasn’t what they wanted. There may also be financial pressure suggestions (financial domination) slipped into the videos, but without disclosure. Therefore I am sorry to say, “viewer beware.” As a sexologist, this irks me, as I believe sexual curiosity about consensual, adult matters should be relatively safe. So do look for disclosures about subject matter and suggestions as well as access to “hypno cleanses” before viewing a random video or listening to a random recording.

    You might also want to read this handout of mine about Hypnotic Safety and Trust from my “Hot & Hypnotic” workshops for couples and multiples.

    3. HotHypnotic Safety and TrustDownload

    In my professional training program, Hypnosis for Sex Problems (150 hours), my students learn how to integrate erotic hypnosis teaching into sex therapy and sexuality counseling, as a form of sexual enrichment (like Western Neo-tantra, BDSM, shopping for sex toys, etc.) that partners can enjoy together. You might enjoy this peek into my theories and methods, geared toward therapists, counselors, sex educators, and professional hypnotists.

    Let me know if you’re interested in private classes or group workshops for erotic hypnosis. It’s one of my favorite things to teach and share! Email me at dr.amymarshsexologist@gmail.com or check the workshop page for an online class, coming soon.

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  • Understanding Spectrosexuality as a Sexual Orientation

    Understanding Spectrosexuality as a Sexual Orientation

    Throughout history, human beings have reported erotic and intimate encounters with a variety of deities and spirits. It is clear that many human beings have desired intimate contact with unseen beings and that this desire is a bonafide aspect of human sexual and relational behavior. We can find anecdotal accounts and other impacts and traces of the human desire for spirit intimacy in many cultures and traditions and human endeavors: history, world religions, spiritual traditions, legends, legal systems, anthropology, psychology, medicine, literature and the arts, pop culture, and now…at last…in sexology.

    However the question for many will be, “do the spirits desire us back?” Legends and anecdotal experiences of contemporary people would have it so.

    Join me for an overview of this topic, as I make a sexological case for Spiritu-Intimacy and Spectrosexuality as a bonafide sexual orientation. This presentation was recorded Dec. 15, 2021.

    Presentation recorded Dec. 15, 2021 by Amy Marsh, Ed.D., DHS.

    Please also see this page on my dedicated website for a discussion of Spiritu-Intimacy and Spectrosexuality as a sexual minority.

    Page from presentation.

    ❀

  • AASECT conferences should not be held in anti-trans states.

    AASECT conferences should not be held in anti-trans states.

    AASECT stands for American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. As a sexuality counselor, I have been certified by AASECT since 2012. The organization holds annual conferences which are important to those of us who want to present our findings, take workshops from other professionals, socialize with peers, and/or gain valuable continuing education credits to renew our certifications.

    Last year, in 2020, the conference in Palm Springs was cancelled due to the pandemic. This year the AASECT conference will be online. But they are planning for 2022 to take place in Tampa, Florida.

    This is a terrible idea given that Florida has just passed (HB) 1475, the Republican-sponsored “Fairness in Women’s Sports Act” which would allow for genital exams of high school athletes.

    This bill discriminates against trans, non-binary, and intersex students.

    From the news link above: <<Some Democrats took issue with part of the bill requiring examinations of students whose sex is called into question.

    Rep. Michele Rayner, D-St. Petersburg, likened the requirement to “state-sanctioned sexual assault against children.”

    Under the measure, students’ schools would have to resolve disputes “by requesting that the student provide a health examination and consent form or other statement signed by the student’s personal health care provider which must verify the student’s biological sex.”

    The measure provides that a student’s sex would be determined by their reproductive anatomy, genetic makeup or “normal endogenously produced testosterone levels.”>>

    It is my opinion that AASECT and other organizations that provide counseling and services to LGBTQIA++ people should boycott states which have passed discriminatory legislation. I have already emailed AASECT to ask that they make a change in conferrence locations.

    Besides Florida, the following states have passed anti-trans legislation. Source of the lists below, from “Anti-Transgender Bills Filed In 28 States Since Start Of 2021,” Tim Moran, 3/31/21. Patch.com.

    From https://patch.com/us/across-america/anti-transgender-bills-filed-28-states-start-2021
    From https://patch.com/us/across-america/anti-transgender-bills-filed-28-states-start-2021

    If you are an AASECT member, please consider contacting conference@AASECT.org to ask that the conference be moved to a transgender and intersex-welcoming state.

    Thank you.

  • Objectum Sexuality: Slides for Clinicians

    Objectum Sexuality: Slides for Clinicians

    These two PDFs are updates of two online classes I created primarily for clinicians hoping to learn more about Objectum Sexuality. May they be useful to you.

    Title Slide for First Objectum Sexuality slideshow PDF.
    os-survey-intro-2021-updateDownload
    Title Slide for Second Objectum Sexuality Slideshow PDF.
    os-clinical-issues-2-copyDownload
  • Sexual and Gender Rights Should Never Be Undone

    Sexual and Gender Rights Should Never Be Undone

    In fact, no basic human rights should ever be undone, removed, or revoked by any vote or governmental body, but I’m going to focus on sexual and gender human rights in this blog.

    The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights was accepted in the General Assembly on December 10, 1948. Later, the International Bill of Human Rights (1966) was adopted (ratified in 1976). This paragraph from Wikipedia describes this composite document:

    “The International Bill of Human Rights was the name given to UN General Assembly Resolution 217 (III) and two international treaties established by the United Nations. It consists of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (adopted in 1948), the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR, 1966) with its two Optional Protocols and the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR, 1966). The two covenants entered into force in 1976, after a sufficient number of countries had ratified them.”

    The concept of universal human rights is even older than I am and has been adopted widely by the majority of the world’s countries. So it is with a mixture of relief and also deep, deep anger that I read of President Biden’s reversal of the former “president’s” ban on transgender people in the U.S. military. I’m relieved because the ban was an injustice and I am deeply angry because, FFS, there shouldn’t have been a ban to begin with! Human rights–particularly those once recognized legally–should never, ever be able to be undone. There should be no going back when it comes to discrimination and injustice.

    Of course I know that legal actions are different from compliance or enforcement. And that compliance and enforcement often depend on the personal prejudices or acceptances of people charged with upholding a law. But still… this kind of legal/cultural seesaw is profoundly damaging. And though President Biden has taken this step to reverse this wrongful ban, several states are trying to push through laws that once again discriminate against transgender people, including children and youth. FFS…

    The United Nations’ Human Rights Council has also researched and championed rights for LGBT and intersex people (as well as children, women, indigenous peoples, etc.) Why oh why can’t we in the U.S. get fully on board and simply carve a deep, unyielding commitment to human rights into our legal and political system? Yes, I know this means we’d also have to commit to no longer locking children in cages, no longer allowing police to slaughter Black, Brown and Native people without consequences, and to even pass the Equal Rights Ammendment. But hey, in the long run we’d all be better off for having our Constitutional right to the “pursuit of happiness” (not to mention life and liberty) attached to a foundation that honors and upholds ALL human rights for ALL humans. What a world that could be, right?

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  • LGBTQIA+ Aging

    LGBTQIA+ Aging

    I have just been accepted as a “Volunteer Education Ambassador” through the SAGE National Resource Center on LGBT Aging and am available to present their program materials to community organizations (online at present).

    Flyer to offer presentations.

    Resource links will be added to this blog post on an ongoing basis.

  • AASECT on Black Lives Matter

    AASECT on Black Lives Matter

    I am a member of several professional organizations. One organization, the American Counseling Association (ACA), has been committed to social justice, diversity, and culturally competant practice since forever. Their counseling competencies have been extremely helpful to me over the years.

    I am also a certified sexuality counselor and member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). In my experience, AASECT has paid little attention to these matters in the years I’ve been a member. So it is good to see the following statement which was just made on our listserve and which is also up on the AASECT website.

    Black Lives Matter: A Commitment from the AASECT Board of Directors

    The Board of Directors of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists joins its membership in collective mourning and outrage over the killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tony McDade, and countless other murders not captured on video [Link to NPR article] or highlighted in the media.

    As we are called to action to interrupt, confront and dismantle systems of oppression, we know that we are also being called to look within – as individuals, as professionals, as community members, and as leaders of this organization. It is long overdue that we acknowledge AASECT is a historically white non-profit, with a predominantly white membership, and a predominantly (though not exclusively) white Board of Directors. As practitioners, our work is deeply rooted in fields of study and practice within a larger culture that have profited off and exploited Black, Indigenous & People of Color’s bodies, identities and lives. AASECT has, and continues to, participate in and perpetuate these systems of oppression. We know that we have long been offered this feedback by our members who experience it the most, and that collectively, our responses have been woefully insufficient and in many places absent altogether or worse. Simply put, we have not done the work to dismantle white supremacy within AASECT, and it is past time that we do so.

    On May 29th, the AASECT Board voted to approve a Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI) centered Strategic Plan. This plan is a culmination of three years of strategic planning process, and will guide the work at all levels of the organization for the next three years, and beyond. This plan outlines our commitments to intentionally shift AASECT in [the] direction where our work, our field and our organization centers the principles and practices of social justice. We know that it is a significant undertaking, and one that is urgent. The strategic plan is a comprehensive document that asks all of AASECT to fundamentally rethink the way we have understood our mission and invite more opportunities for growth and change. We will provide more information about the plan during our virtual summit this week, along with opportunities for members to get involved in this process.

    The Strategic Plan speaks to the organization as a whole, but we are an organization of members and nothing will change if we do not do our individual-level work. White members need to start with ourselves. We are offering the following resource shares to our members, as a starting place for members to do individual work and support each other. We encourage you to contribute your ideas and resources to this shared document: AASECT Anti-Racist Resource Share,

    • Resources for white people to better understand what white supremacy is and identify how it operates. 

    • Opportunities for our BIPOC members to let other members know how to be of support (attending or promoting your events, networking, etc.). 

    •Black and BIPOC organizations and causes to direct resources and finances to (such as bail funds, community orgs, etc).

    Black Lives. Matter.
    Thank you,

    AASECT Board of Directors

    Susan Stiritz, PhD, MSW, MBA, CSE, CSES, AASECT President
    Chris Fariello, PhD, MA, LMFT, CST, CSE, CSTS, AASECT President-elect
    Melissa Novak, LCSW, CST, CSTS, AASECT Secretary
    Todd Malloy, MA, LMFT, CST, CSE, AASECT Treasurer
    Lexx Brown-James, LMFT, CSE, CSES, AASECT Vice President of Membership
    Eli Green, PhD, CSE, CSES, Communications Steering Committee Chair
    Juan Camarena, PhD, LMFT, LPCC, CST, Outreach Steering Committee Chair
    Rosalyn Dischiavo, EdD, MA, CSE, CSES, Professional Education Steering Committee Chair
    Sally Valentine, PhD, FAACS, LCSW, CST, CSTS, Certification Steering Committee Chair
    Margie Nichols, PhD, CST, CSTS, Public Relations, Media and Advocacy Chair
    Kellie Braband, Executive Director

    American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists
    35 E. Wacker Dr., Suite 850
    Chicago, IL 60601

    I am confident that AASECT will do a better job from now on of stepping up their game, and that members (and thus clients of members) are well supported from now on.

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