My book is coming out at last! This has truly been one of the best weeks of my life! A few days ago, I received an invitation to serve on the Advisory Board of the American College of Sexologists (see previous blog) and I’m so thrilled about that! And today I got my first peek at the cover of my first book, Sex Squicks, published by Sizzler Editions in the Sexperience (nonfiction) section. I’m so delighted with the cover! It surpasses my expectations! Sex Squicks is volume one of a collection of my Carnal Nation columns. I adored writing a weekly column for Carnal Nation and was so sorry when they abruptly stopped publishing. The second and third volumes should be out later this year.
Sex Squicks will be available as an eBook and later in paperback. It should be up on Amazon, too!
I’m just so glad and delighted about this, today of all days! It was worth the wait! Many thanks to the amazing Jean Marie Stein, my publisher, and Frankie, the talented graphic designer, and all the rest of the amazing Sizzler Editions staff!
A new independent survey reveals the erotic world of 225 people who use hypnosis to create enjoyment and variety in their personal lives. Sexologist Amy Marsh will present preliminary statistics and key findings on Saturday, Jan. 11, at 1:30 PM PST, during a free webinar hosted by Creative Sexuality Education Corp:
Highlights include the popularity of hypnotic orgasms and the satisfaction they bring. 54% of survey respondents “frequently” use hypnosis to create or improve orgasms, while another 34% do it “sometimes.” 55% said they were “very satisfied” with hypnotic orgasms, while 25% were “somewhat satisfied.”
The survey also shows that erotic hypnosis enthusiasts give high priority to trust, consent and safety issues.
“The brain really is the most powerful sex organ. People who play with erotic hypnosis are using their imagination to dramatically improve their sex lives.” Dr. Marsh added, “Some of these techniques could be adapted and taught to many others, including people with physical impairments and other health concerns.”
Amy Marsh, EdD, DHS, CH, CI is a board certified clinical sexologist, AASECT-certified sex counselor, sexuality educator, certified hypnotist, and certified hypnosis instructor. She teaches a 300-hour certificate course in sexological hypnosis at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS) in San Francisco and is an online instructor at Sex Coach U and Creative Sexuality Education Corp. In private practice, she specializes in using hypnosis to address sexual concerns. Marsh has also researched objectum sexuality and has been published in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality. Her findings resulted in appearances on Good Morning America, Tyra Banks, National Geographic Taboo, and other media.
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If you’d like more information about the topic, or to schedule an interview with Dr. Marsh, please call 510-277-0440 or email dr.amymarsh@hushmail.com
For the last few days I have had the deep joy and fascination of creating and launching a baby survey, and watching it grow by leaps and bounds. I’ve been considering a survey of erotic hypnotists for quite some time, but for some reason last week, I just up and did it. My research question was a variation on the classic sexological inquiry: “what do people do? And how do they feel about it?” I wanted to know what erotic hypnotists and their subjects do with hypnosis in their personal lives, and how happy they are with the results. And I wanted to know their key concerns and issues. Demographics too, just a few…
I started with ten questions, and an upper limit of 100 responses (due to the fact that I was using the free plan on Survey Monkey). However, due to the rapid and enthusiastic response from people on some erotic hypnosis groups, circumstances quickly warranted an upgrade so that I could collect more than 100 responses. As of this morning, Jan. 6, I have 219 completed surveys – and have had to delete at least three times that number of incomplete offerings created by people who look, but don’t answer. (This last has been somewhat tedious.)
On Jan. 4th, in honor of World Hypnotism Day, I held a free webinar at Creative Sexuality, to talk about “Five Ways Hypnosis Helps Couples” but ended up focusing less on techniques and more on what was coming out of the survey. I used a lot of the comments given by survey respondents. A recording of this presentation should be posted soon, both on the above link, but also on Creative Sexuality’s YouTube channel.
On Jan. 11th, I plan to hold another free webinar at CS to share the rough numbers and some key highlights with the erotic hypnosis community. I’ll post a link to that when it’s up – but I figured that would be a fun way to present some of the data, and as it will also be recorded, more than just the webinar attendees will get to watch.
I’m not ready to write anything else about the data yet, but it’s so juicy, so wonderful, so fruitful, and above all, so much fun!
Generating routine sex tips for fairly common forms of heterosexual behavior is the kind of gig I never get – which is odd, considering I’m a sexologist and therefore open to all kinds of press queries on all things sexual. I’ve mostly been approached by writers looking for information about topics like Objectum Sexuality, and my last National Geographic Taboo gig had me in front of a green screen commenting on human puppy training. (They shot some foot fetish comments too, but I haven’t seen them and don’t know if they were used.) However, a few weeks ago I was approached by a writer from Redbook looking for some tips on blow jobs. I was actually rather pleased to get a request for something so simple and uncomplicated.
The problem is that there are so very, very many articles that recycle the same old sex tips. I tried to include some new ideas, but they didn’t make it into the article.
The stock photos of phallic fruits and vegetables were also somewhat predictable. However, they remind me of the penile gastronomy encyclopedia entry I wrote for the Cultural Encyclopedia of the Penis, soon to be published by AltaMira Press, edited by Kimmel, M., Milrod., C. & Kennedy, A. (I also wrote entries for penis slang and invective and hypnotizing the penis.) I’ll be overjoyed when that book makes it into print!
Still, I’m always happy for a chance to comment on just about anything pertaining to sex! Especially if someone somewhere will have a better time as a result.
It’s been a few months, but now the UnSlut Project panel discussion on slut shaming – hosted by Creative Sexuality Education Corp. – is out and online! The panel features Emily Lindin, of the UnSlut Project as moderator; Dr. Ted McIlvenna, president of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS) in San Francisco; Dr. Carol Queen of the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco; Leora Tanenbaum, author of Slut – Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation; Natalie Mills, MFT; and yours truly opening the program. This was a pretty heavy duty SF Bay Area line-up of speakers! Here’s the video. There is a wide array of very interesting perspectives, but we’re all agreed, slut shaming is incredibly damaging and wrong.
Personally, Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation has been my theme song for time that’s longer than I care to remember. But then, that’s my punk roots showing… Now that I think about it, what a grand thing it is to be a punk sexologist!
Erotic hypnosis workshops taught by Dr. Amy Marsh.
I predict that erotic hypnosis will be the hot new erotic trend of 2014. There are so many great things you can do with it, for yourself and with your lovers.
Consenting adults use personal erotic hypnosis to enhance and enrich their sexual relationships. Erotic hypnosis is so versatile you can adapt it to any scenario: romantic; tantric; edgy; and even kinky. Erotic hypnosis can help you increase (or decrease) all kinds of sensations, boost your fantasy life, and add multiple dimensions to any sexy role play. Use erotic hypnosis as foreplay or to intensify the hottest parts of your sexual encounters. Use it alone (erotic self-hypnosis), with a partner, or in a group. Like a trusty vibrator, erotic hypnosis can go just about anywhere…
Here are just five of the many great ways you can use erotic hypnosis:
1. Getting in the Mood. If you’re too stressed to even think about sex, ask your partner to indulge you with a long, soothing progressive relaxation induction that gradually shifts into sensual, arousing imagery. This is as simple as reading a script, though you can certainly ad lib as you learn more about basic hypnotic techniques.
2. Getting in the Groove. In order to become aroused and sustain that loving feeling, you need to stay on the right side of your parasympathetic nervous system (until you’re close to orgasm, which is when your sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear). You can use hypnotic relaxation techniques to increase your sexual self-confidence and banish performance anxiety.
3. Getting in Touch. When you’re “entranced,” it’s easy to experience an increase in sensual awareness and sensation by simply listening to your lover’s suggestions and succumbing to the power of your imagination. Trust me, your body will respond. Hypnosis plus touch is also a potent combination.
4. Getting Hot! Deepen your sexual experiences on all levels – sensations, fantasies, variety, role play, and even hypnotic orgasms. Basic hypnotic skills can take you there.
5. Getting Kinky. You can create wild and elaborate fantasy scenarios without spending a dime on equipment and toys. Use hypnosis to imagine and rehearse something you might want to try in the future, or to provide an extra dimension for your present fun and games.
Erotic hypnosis also has a lot to offer people who have chronic illnesses and/or physical impairments that might make some sexual activities difficult. With erotic hypnosis, you can take your mind – and your sexual responses – where you body might not physically follow.
Of course, erotic hypnosis should only be used in a responsible way, with a lot of trust and a lot of talking beforehand – working out most of what you want to try and experience, in advance, and getting clear consent for every part of it. There’s much more to be said on this topic – and about the basic hypnosis skills you must acquire – but for now, this is a glimpse into the benefits and uses of recreational, erotic hypnosis.
The short answer is: it’s another part of my sexological “bag of tricks.” But I think this question also requires a longer explanation.
All sexologists, sex counselors, sex coaches, and sex therapists develop a menu of therapeutic strategems, tips, techniques, and recommended products, books, and media to share with our clients. Most of us give classes and workshops on everything from orgasms, oral sex, erotic massage, tantra, coping with pelvic pain, aging and sexuality, and so on. We’re always looking for new, effective ways to assist our clients and students with their sexual concerns.
We also often give our clients “homeplay” exercises to do between sessions. For couples, there may be a sensate focus series, non-demand touch exercises for building trust and somatic awareness, first used by sex therapy teams like Masters & Johnson and Hartman & Fithian, and still in wide use today. For a man with rapid ejaculation, there may be a program of mindful masturbation exercises designed to build his capacity for “lasting longer.”
As a sexologist, I often use hypnosis in my practice, and I teach self-hypnosis and other mind-body skills to my clients. And this is good. But there’s more that can be done!
For the last couple of years I’ve envisioned a well-designed mini-course in erotic hypnosis techniques which could be just as helpful as many of my other sex counseling staples. I’ve been working on the design of this course and have now refined it so that it is user friendly, based on wisdom culled from both the hypnotic world as well as the sexological one.
I am convinced of the value of this endeavor. Hypnosis is so versatile! For example, lovers could use hypnosis to:
• help each other relax before lovemaking (especially helpful in dropping the stresses of the work day or family life);
• restore and renew that new relationship sensation of being entranced with a lover; and
• to shower each other’s subconscious with ego-strengthening, affirmative, appreciative suggestions that promote confidence in each other and in the relationship. Can you imagine anything more nourishing than relaxing in a light trance state while being showered on a daily basis with words of love and appreciation, pouring right into your mind and heart?
I suggest that these are great additions to an expanded erotic hypnosis repertoire – which includes the ability to heighten sensation, enjoy “hypno-gasms,” create variety through hypnotic fantasy, explore power play, and so on. In other words, lovers can empower themselves and their relationships through the skillful, consensual use of erotic hypnosis.
Erotic hypnosis can also be a valuable tool for people who have some kind of physical impairment or disability, but who’d like to enjoy the fullest possible sex life. Think about it!
I believe too that erotic self-hypnosis is a powerful tool for understanding one’s own erotic nature and core themes. Too often people are as disconnected from this awareness as they are from their own, and their lover’s, bodies. Why not explore your own eroticism through a combination of self-hypnosis and self-pleasure, for example?
This is the potential I see – and I would like to alert my colleagues in the sexology field about this. I am launching my extended Erotic Hypnosis for Lovers courses (first one on August 17th), and am hopeful that people will realize their value. Yes, there are plenty of people exploring and enjoying erotic hypnosis and doing very well on their own – but I’d also like this modality, as a structured program, to make its way into the hands of sexologists, counselors, and therapists – as well as clients.
Really. I hardly know where to begin. But thanks to my oldest son, in the last couple of days I’ve become aware of the controversy pertaining to the transphobic policies of the environmental group, Deep Green Resistance, and the laudable actions taken by those who have decided to withdraw their support of DGR for that reason, including Earth First! Here’s a quote from their blog:
“However, in light of DGR’s continued assault on trans people, with language and analysis that denies the struggles of trans-people and even goes so far as to deny the value, worth and power of their existence in radical movements, labeling trans people as somehow “not real,” or as Post-Modern manifestations of individualism, the Earth First! Journal collective will no longer print or in any way promote DGR material. While we don’t need to agree with an individual or organization to find their words or actions relevant for discussion we will not continue to include those whose core expression of values continues to promote exclusion and oppression.”
Updates on this issue from the Earth First! Newswire blog can be found here and here. I intend to follow this story.
So, a little background. I first became aware of DGR a couple of years ago, listening to an interview with Lierre Keith on KPFA. She was talking about “the vegetarian myth,” and I thought she had an interesting perspective. I even… (now I shudder to think of it)… bought her book on this topic. But I had no idea that my small purchase was going to support a person who holds deeply transphobic feelings and even goes so far as to deny the right of trans and gender variant people to exist.
Later, I found out that Keith belongs to the category of feminists who simply hate erotica. I am a sexologist and erotologist, so I realized that she would find my views on this topic abhorrent and might even view me as some kind of patriarchal dupe. Even so, I still had no idea that this was a person capable of spewing hate-filled words and creating hate-filled policies against people who are gender diverse.
Now, according to the Earth First! Newswire blog, Lierre Keith’s views can be described as “assumptions that trans people are some sort of Post-Modern expression of liberal individualism and that trans womyn in particular are manifestations of patriarchy in disguise.” The Earth First! blog article also featured a video of a rather smarmy young woman, apparently one of Keith’s followers, claiming to be a former “teenage age liberal” on the topic of gender. She sounded just like that misguided (and also smarmy) young woman who made a YouTube video to argue against the inclusion of a young trans girl in a Colorado Girl Scout troop. I hope some day she’ll feel ashamed of herself.
And I guess that brings me back to kids. And me being a mom and all that. People like Keith and Derrick Jensen of DGR just haven’t got a clue. They haven’t got a clue about the loooooong history of gender diversity in human beings, and they have no idea that very young children can be accurately aware that their inner sense of gender does not match their gender assignment at birth! Little “girls” who are really little trans boys are not going after “male privilege” and little “boys” who are really little trans girls are not patriarchal tools seeking to subvert all that feminism holds dear. They just want to be who they are, with names and clothes and toys and friends and parents who feel good to and about them. Experts in transgender and gender variant issues, including the parents and family members of such people, know this. And they know that acceptance is crucial to the survival of these kids!
So the astounding cruelty of denial coming from people like DGR is – let’s say it – an exercise in the very worst of adult privilege. Yep! Privilege! What Keith and Jensen and their ilk do is not just transphobia and cis-centrism, it’s also a very deliberate way for them, as powerful adults and opinion-leaders, to deny people of all ages their right to define themselves in the most basic manner without fear of reprisal, violence, abuse, or exclusion. And that’s frakking dangerous. It’s dangerous to the survival of innocent children, just like it’s dangerous to the survival of trans youth and trans adults.
Finally, I challenge Keith and Jensen to humbly attend the Gender Spectrum Family Conference in Berkeley this summer, so they can see and feel with their own eyes the joy of trans and gender variant kids in the act of being themselves, and the love of their supportive families. I challenge them to offer their snarky little gender analysis directly to parents who wonder hourly if their child or teen will come home intact after using the school bathroom or if their adult child will end up on the Day of Remembrance website. Such experiences might help Keith and Jensen to transform their own narrow, sadly pathetic little minds and their cramped, vicious little hearts. Perhaps there is hope for them and their ilk, but I’m not counting on it.
I write as the mother of two. One kid is cis-gender, the other is trans. I challenge Keith and Jensen to talk to me.
Last Thursday, Sept. 13th, I taught my Easy Mind-Body Skills workshop at Tutu’s House in Waimea, Hawai’i island. This is a collection of several simple things that people can do to release stress in their lives. These techniques are so simple, parents can teach them to children. I originally created this workshop for the Gender Spectrum Conference held last summer in Berkeley, but realized that it could be helpful for any community. So I’m taking it on the road!
A few days after the workshop I received the following glowing testimonial from the program director, who made it a point to take my class:
“You are one of my all-time FAVORITE PRESENTERS! Absolutely the BEST at active listening & letting people “FEEL HEARD”, taking just enough time to let an individual’s comment resonate, be noticed, identified with by others, while bringing focus back to the material you intend to cover within perfect connection with your audience ! ! ! Really, you could do a Train-the-Trainers just on that skill that you have mastered & so graceful at it ! ! ! ! ! ! I… absolutely hope that you will return with ANYTHING you would like to share with the Community at Tutu’s House.” Lorraine Urbic, Tutu’s House Program Leader, Kamuela-Waimea, Hawai’i Island.
This is super-gratifying to me, as I have been spending a lot of time and energy in this last year, trying to be a better and more effective teacher and presenter. This was my second time doing a program at Tutu’s House, a community health and education center. (A couple of years ago I presented an abbreviated version of my Secrets of Successful Couples course.) I particularly value Lorraine’s comments as her program relies on a constant stream of guest presenters, with new offerings every month, and so I know she has a good basis of comparison.
You can bet that next time I come back to Hawai’i island that I’ll bring another workshop to Tutu’s House. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to offer something back to at least one community in Hawai’i!
I’m back to making videos again. It’s so satisfying. I hope you like this one!
Speaking of videos – back in January I was taped again by National Geographic Taboo, offering sexological insights into “looners” (people with balloon fetishes), human puppy training, and shoe fetishes. There’s a “looner” in the new episode coming up on August 19th – an episode which also features famous tantric daka, Baba Dez. If anyone sees me making a comment on the balloon loving portion of the episode, please let me know. I don’t have cable TV… [Note: my comments on “looners” weren’t used in the program.]
The two pictures here are stills taken from the Taboo website.
It looks like the human puppy episode will be aired in another installment. I do not see anything about the shoe fetishist yet.
